I'm Tired Of Swiping — I Want To Find Real Love

This whole digital dating is not for me.

couple laughing VioletaStoimenova / Getty Images Signature via Canva

By Emma Spear

It’s the start of 2023, and it’s another start of the year of being single. I know that love isn’t the most important thing in the world, but for me, it’s pretty up there.

I love the idea of love, of finding the person you want to spend forever with, but I just haven’t had luck in that area as of right now.

I’m someone who wants a relationship and it feels like guys these days just want hookups, and when that doesn’t happen, they ghost you.


RELATED: What Happened When I Tried Dating The Old School Way — With No Dating Apps

How lame can you be? Seriously?

When did it get to the point where people only want hookups and one-night stands? What happened to the people who want actual relationships that lead to something meaningful?


It seems like everyone is so scarred from past relationships that we don’t know how to approach people we’re attracted to anymore.

I was talking to my friend the other day and she suggested a dating app, and let me say this loud and clear for anyone reading this: I am so over dating apps.

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Plenty of Fish — I’ve heard it all. You swipe off these people (and it’s the same people on all the apps; we all have the same idea), and half the time they either don’t start a conversation, decide to stop replying, or think I’m a catfish (which I don’t even understand).

And the process of unmatching starts back up all over again as I tell another guy that my favorite color is yellow, and I can only do it for so long before I delete the app off my phone.


This whole digital dating is not for me. I want to find love, but I am not someone who is going to find it on an app because I “swiped right” or messaged first. It’s not for me.

RELATED: 15 Brutally Harsh Things Guys Won't Tell You About Your Dating Profile

The thing about not using apps is it’s all people seem to use for dating; we’re all so engrossed in our phones and texting that we don’t pay to those who are around us.

I thought I could find love at school, and no one talks to each other. I go to work and Betty wants to set me up with her grandson who has long hair, lives with his parents, and plays video games all day.

I just want to find a decent guy who will adore me and give me his sweatshirt. Why is that so hard to find?


You can’t tell me that all the good guys are taken because they can’t be, that can’t be true. I know a lot of great guys, but they’re dumb, and when I try to flirt it goes over their heads.

I feel like my Prince Charming is pulling at a door you’re supposed to push and is wondering why the door isn’t opening. I just want someone to get it on the first try.

I know love takes time, and I know it’s going to be worth it at the end of all of this, but if my man could open his eyes and push the door open for us, that would be great. Because I’m here on the other side of the door waiting for it to open.


I keep seeing other people with their person and that’s great, but I want my person to be here also. That’s all.

RELATED: 5 Disappointing Realities Of Modern Dating (And How To Deal With Them)

Emma Spear is a student, paraeducator, writer, and contributor to Unwritten. She has a passion for writing about mental health, self-care, and education.