If A Woman Does Any Combination Of These 6 Things, She's More Desperate For Love Than She Realizes
It's easy to sacrifice your values and standards when you're falling in love.
Stefan Nutu | Unsplash You’ve been hanging out with this guy for weeks, maybe even months. You’re not sure how he feels, and you haven’t had “the talk.” You think you’re ready for more, but he hasn’t brought it up. Maybe he’s even avoiding the topic completely. Why not? You're so desperate for him to like you, you're willing to sacrifice your own standards for his attention.
In a culture where relationship lines are blurred and more people are hooking up than cuffin’ up, leaping casual to commitment can seem complicated. The thing is, if a man wants to be with you, he will do whatever it takes to have you. And if not, he was never actually the right one for you to begin with.
If a woman does any combination of these 6 things, she's more desperate for love than she realizes:
1. She enables the hookup mentality
He was passive in his approach, and you enabled his behavior. Maybe you started as friends or met through mutual friends, which made you comfortable hooking up right away.
Maybe you weren’t looking for more than a hookup at the time, anyway. Since your relationship didn’t start on a course of commitment, there was never an expectation to commit. There’s never been the expectation for him to take you out or treat you as anything but a hookup, and so, there you stand.
2. She never tells him what she wants
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You wanted to be the cool girl because you didn’t want to pressure him. You were just having fun, but then, you started feeling things. Even then, you didn’t say anything because you were afraid to do so. He can’t read your mind. Unless you clearly express how you feel and what you want, you’ll never get it, and you’ll be stuck in a cycle of unfulfilled expectations.
3. She doesn’t make him a priority
Hanging out and hooking up once a week or now and then was okay with you. You were busy, he was busy, and neither of you wanted to put any pressure on the situation. You didn’t prioritize each other, and he needed more attention from you to figure out if you were worth settling down with. Now, he’s spending more time with the person who did prioritize him.
4. She ignores the signs that he’s emotionally unavailable
He never slept over because he always had an early day at work the next day, or whatever other excuses he gave you. You never went on dates because he only communicated when he wanted to hook up.
He didn’t share his days with you, and you never got to know much about him. He only gave you enough to keep you holding on to hope. Those are the signs of the emotionally unavailable man, and you missed them.
5. She rushed into getting physical
We’ve all heard the saying, “Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?” Yes, it's outdated and nobody should see women (or anyone) as analagous to cattle. However, rushing into getting physical can cause problems even for the modern, independent woman.
He’s getting all the benefits of a girlfriend — both physical and emotional — of being your boyfriend without having to commit. You’re supporting his dreams. You’re giving him your time and your heart. Why would he commit when he’s already getting all of the perks?
6. She doesn't notice he is just not that into her
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We’re not all meant for each other. Maybe he’s just not that into you, but the sex is good, so he keeps hooking up.
No matter the reason, if you’re looking for more, it’s time to talk about it. Get on the same page with the man who is getting your time, mind, and body. Don’t let fear, comfort, or selfishness keep you from getting what you ultimately need and deserve. No matter the outcome, you’ll live to love another day.
Ravid Yosef is a dating and relationship coach. She is an established advice column writer, Certified NLP Practitioner, and Award-winning marketer.
