If A Man Has 8 Specific Habits, Run Far, Far Away As Fast As You Can
Edi Libedinsky / Shutterstock Some men seem to be walking red flags. No matter how much they try to hide it, their behavior sends a clear message that they should be avoided at all costs. Certain toxic traits are pretty easy to identify, but these men have some unhealthy habits that aren’t always obvious. When you notice any of these signs, know that it's time to run.
If a man has these exceptionally specific habits, you should absolutely run away as fast as you can.
1. Monitoring your phone usage like a parent would
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Sometimes parents like to keep an eye on their kids’ texts and social media accounts, which is totally fine, but no one needs to watch their partner that closely. Researchers call this electronic partner surveillance, and they’ve found that it’s nothing more than a form of control that hurts relationships and the people in them.
Couples should agree on any ways they use technology to track each other. It’s not normal for a man to ask you to hand over your phone for inspection. That means he’s trying way too hard to dominate the relationship.
2. Only having bad things to say about women from his past
It might seem like it’s a good thing for a man to criticize women he’s dated before because it could mean he thinks you’re so much better, but it's actually nothing more than a huge character flaw that it’s better to recognize sooner rather than later.
When men pick apart their previous partners like this, it’s a sign that they have no respect for women, and possibly for people in general. There’s very little chance that those women were the only ones responsible for those relationships not working out.
Plus, if he criticizes women from his past, it probably won’t be long before he talks about you the same way. Criticism seriously harms relationships, so the future doesn’t look promising if he has this habit.
3. Expecting praise for doing the bare minimum
Many men get used to doing the bare minimum because society lets them get away with it. Women are expected to give their all in everything they do, while men get a pat on the back for just getting by.
When men do this in their relationships, it’s kind of like they’re giving up. They don’t put any effort in and let you handle everything instead. That’s not a healthy dynamic, but it’s hard to spot sometimes since it’s become weirdly acceptable. No matter what kind of treatment a man is used to, if he can’t do more than the bare minimum, he’s not worth it. He’s not going to magically start trying later in your relationship when he’s already shown his true colors.
4. Making you feel uncomfortable in public
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Couples aren’t just supposed to be close when they’re alone. Men who keep you at arm’s length in public or aren’t honest about your relationship with their friends are always bad news. The same goes for men who think it’s fun to embarrass you.
Psychology professor Dr. Mark Leary explained that this is called targeted embarrassment. Sometimes this happens unintentionally, but there’s something wrong if it becomes a pattern. No one should feel like they’re walking on eggshells when they go out with their partner. If you feel less comfortable when you’re with a man, that’s a pretty good sign it’s time to move on.
5. Blaming his problems on everyone and anyone else
Some problems come from a person’s actions, and some are just a part of life. In both cases, they aren’t someone else’s fault. Anyone who can’t see that is struggling with their emotional maturity.
Blaming other people is a defense mechanism that people who aren’t good at regulating their emotions use to make themselves feel better. Men who do this aren’t worth your time. They clearly have a problem with holding themselves accountable and with accepting that life is inevitably hard sometimes. If they’re always looking for someone else to blame, there’s a good chance that you’ll become their target eventually.
6. Acting differently in public and in private
Research has shown that most people really do act differently at home than they do when they’re out because their behavior changes in different environments. Still, that doesn’t excuse mistreatment.
There’s a big difference between a man acting more reserved in private and only being nice to you when other people are around. This kind of Jekyll and Hyde behavior is meant to manipulate you, along with everyone else. Little changes between public and private aren’t a big deal, but if one truly feels safer, he has a problem that’s not your responsibility to solve.
7. Thinking he has the right to flirt with other women even if makes you uncomfortable
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According to marriage and family therapist Jeanae Hopgood, flirting goes too far when the other partner has a problem with it. While every relationship is different, it’s hard to imagine a man flirting with other women not being problematic.
If that makes you uncomfortable, he shouldn’t do it, and he definitely shouldn’t act like you’re overreacting to it. Men like that are willing to play with your emotions to get whatever they want. They aren’t the kind you want to plan a future with.
8. Apologizes but never making actual changes
Apologies are only sincere if someone is acknowledging that they messed up and promising to do better in the future. If someone isn’t willing to take responsibility, they’re being insincere.
That’s what happens when a man says he's sorry and then does the same thing over and over again. If he really cared, he would change the way he acts. Instead, he’s hoping the right words will be enough. No one is really sorry if they keep making the same mistake. That’s the kind of man you should run from because he really just won’t care if he’s hurting you.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
