If A Man Is A Bad Person, He’ll Likely Say 9 Phrases In Calm Conversations
wavebreakmedia / Shutterstock Being in a relationship with a bad man is draining. It’s especially frustrating when they use manipulative language that makes you feel bad about yourself. These little phrases don’t seem bad on the surface, but they cut like a knife when you’ve put up with someone’s poor behavior for so long.
Men like this can slowly break you down. It’s not uncommon for them to escalate their words once they realize you’ll take it. A study found that a man’s aggression towards women changes over time, showing it most in their young to mid-adulthood. A truly bad person shows it in their actions and the way they speak to the woman in their life.
If a man is a truly awful person, he'll often use phrases like this in casual conversations
1. ‘That never happened’
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Truly bad people want to convince you that they’re good. They may do this by manipulating a situation and making you think that you’re the problem, which is a form of gaslighting and is mental and emotional abuse. He’ll most likely use this tactic calmly, hoping you’ll question your perception of the situation. When it works, it can be damaging to your mental health.
Manipulative men use gaslighting as a way to control women. They think that once you start questioning yourself, you’ll accept their bad behavior. Sadly, this manipulation tactic often works, and it can be hard to break the cycle.
2. ‘Why are you so upset?’
Men who make bad partners will blame everyone else but themselves. Instead of understanding where someone else is coming from, they see their own behavior through rose-colored glasses, avoiding self-reflection because it’s easier to justify their actions than admit they were wrong.
Emotional invalidation often affects us more than we may realize. It can lead to serious mental health problems that leave us wondering if we’re overreacting. Instead of feeling seen and heard for who we believe we are, it makes us question if we’re irrational or even matter to the men in our lives.
3. ‘I guess I’m a terrible person’
Confronting a bad person about how they made you feel can be risky. Often, these people don’t want to see anyone’s perspective but their own. They instantly become defensive when you tell them how you feel. If they can manipulate you to feel bad for them, they’ll do it. Flipping the script gives them the power again. Now, you're the one pleading for forgiveness.
Defensive people are often controlling. They want to dictate what goes on in the relationship, so they play mind games that make others feel invalidated and confused.
4. ‘Nobody else would put up with you, so get used to it’
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Emotional manipulation can look different depending on the situation. If something is going wrong in the relationship, like a disagreement or talk of a breakup, they will pull out this phrase even if the conversation is calm and civil. They want you to believe that they’re doing you a favor by being with you, expecting you to think that if you tried to find someone else, it wouldn’t work out, because they are the only person who would ever love you.
This targets people where it hurts most. Losing confidence is exactly how they keep you in the relationship. They definitely aren't the only one who would want to be with you, but they try to convince you that it’s true. They can be cruel and still keep you around.
5. ‘Look what you made me do’
Bad people do bad things. Sometimes, this can be a sign that they are narcissists who'll do whatever they can to take the blame off themselves. When they hurt someone, they find ways to wiggle out of it. They don’t take responsibility or apologize. Instead, they claim it was all your fault because you made them act out. This harmful behavior can slowly break down your confidence.
Sometimes, people like this try to make you feel defensive. This is used to manipulate your feelings. They want you to explain yourself and why you did what you did, which takes the attention away from their actions. You made them act that way.
6. ‘I’ll do whatever I want’
We all deserve to have authority over our own lives, but this doesn’t mean hurting others along the way. Sometimes, men hurt the woman in their life by texting another woman or staying out too late with friends. When she brings it up, it’s not surprising to hear him dismiss it by saying he makes his own decisions.
This can pull on our heartstrings because we don’t want to feel controlling. Most women are afraid of being labeled as crazy in a relationship, so this phrase can often get them to back off even when they are deeply hurt.
Many men fear being dominated and controlled by women. To avoid this, he may not follow any of the boundaries you set. When you call him out, he’ll likely say he’ll do whatever he wants because he’s afraid of losing that freedom.
7. ‘I don’t owe you an explanation’
Most women have been hurt by a bad man at some point. They believe they can do whatever they want without consequences. It feels like there is no point in bringing up your feelings because they are quick to shut them down. This starts an unhealthy cycle of lies and deceit that can be hard to break. If they think they don’t owe you an explanation, they won’t bother giving you one.
This occurs when men know what they’re doing is wrong. They don’t want to stop the behavior, so they’ll try to shut down your feelings. They claim it’s their right to independence, but really, they don’t respect your feelings. Sadly, this can be a sign of misogyny because they don’t want a woman to control them. Their disrespect for women shows in their behavior.
8. ‘You’re so sensitive’
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Again, this phrase attempts to shut down a woman’s feelings. Boundaries are important, and when they are not enforced, it can cause serious emotional pain. Narcissists use this to prey on their victims. They purposely hurt them but claim it only happened because they’re so sensitive. They actually didn’t do anything wrong, and the woman is overreacting.
We know this isn’t true. Everyone’s feelings are valid. A bad man will ignore this and make you feel ridiculed for having strong emotions. They want you to think being sensitive is a flaw, but it isn't. It can be a major strength because sensitivity can make someone kind and empathetic.
9. ‘You’ll get over it’
A bad man will rarely say he is sorry. Everyone needs to hear an apology, but they know they won’t get it. Instead, they have to dig deep to move forward. Sometimes, it’s more powerful to find forgiveness within yourself. You can work through your problems with someone without them ever uttering the words.
Many men like this assume the woman in their life will get over whatever they’ve done. They expect it will blow over. They don’t think they’ll be held accountable, and they want to move on.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
