If A Husband No Longer Loves His Wife, He'll Refuse To Say These 11 Things
When a husband falls out of love with his wife, he will show it through the words he refuses to utter.
Andrii Iemelianenko / Shutterstock There’s no denying how difficult it is to maintain a relationship. A marriage takes work, and it can be devastating when one person falls out of love while the other is still willing to work on it. Sometimes, when a husband stops loving his wife, his actions will show how he really feels. He will stop showing affection, and she will notice certain phrases are no longer being said to her. It can be hard to notice at first, but once she sees the change in his behavior, there is no going back.
The sad reality of love and relationships is that, no matter how hard we try, people’s feelings can change. Yet, despite this change, people may still choose to remain in the relationship, sometimes out of comfort and sometimes out of fear. Mark Travers, Ph.D., explains, “Although the person may actively choose to stay, there will be noticeable changes in their behavior. They may be physically present, but the same cannot be said emotionally.” The lack of emotion they feel towards their wives will take form in their words. When these phrases disappear from his usual conversations with her, she may realize he no longer loves her.
If a husband no longer loves his wife, he'll refuse to say these 11 things
1. ‘How was your day?’
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When a relationship is strong and stable, it’s common to talk about every aspect of your day with your partner. You’ll want to hear what they have to say. It’s exciting to hear what they were up to. However, if a husband no longer loves his wife, he won’t care to hear about her day. Her activities matter less and less to him as his feelings for her change.
The lack of emotional connection makes having end-of-day conversations like these hard to have. Someone who is falling out of love with their wife will struggle to connect with her on any level. He won’t care much about her day, as he is starting to not care for her much at all.
2. ‘What are you thinking?’
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When his wife is staring off into space with a blank face, the first thought on his mind should be, "What are you thinking?" If he notices she is checked out, he is likely relieved. He has been checked out for a while now. A breakdown in emotional connection and boredom in the relationship can bring conversations to a stalemate.
“Conversations and debates that once delved deep into your interests, dreams, opinions, and feelings will now be reduced to mundane, surface-level topics,” notes Travers. “They may show a marked disinterest in your life events — avoiding meaningful dialogue or any topics that require some kind of emotional investment altogether.”
3. ‘Are you OK?’
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A husband should care a lot about his wife. How she feels and what she’s going through should be a top priority. However, there is a lack of care when he no longer loves his wife. He’ll refuse to check in with her as much as he should.
“The number one complaint I hear from wives when they come to couples counseling with their husbands, is that their husband has become distant or detached, and that he no longer seems to want to connect with her on any kind of deep or meaningful level,” says therapist Laura How. “This causes severe distress in women, as generally speaking, they need to feel seen and valued in order to feel secure within a relationship, and also to thrive and flourish more generally in life.”
When her husband stops asking how she is doing, she will be devastated by how distant and detached he has become.
4. ‘I’m sorry’
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If your husband stops telling you he is sorry for his actions, it’s clear he is no longer in love with you. Of course, some men struggle to put their egos aside and apologize, but if you notice a sudden change in your husband’s ability to apologize, he could be checked out.
“When a spouse never apologizes, it can feel isolating, like your feelings do not matter. It is not just about the words — it is about acknowledgment, about feeling heard,” says writer Rachel Pace. “And when that never happens, it can slowly wear away at the connection between you.”
He is probably looking to wear away the connection as he no longer has the love for his wife that he once did.
5. ‘You’re right’
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When a husband no longer loves his wife, his ability to tell her that she is right will dwindle. He’ll stop being open to hearing her contributions to conversations. His ego will stand in the way of hearing her out and will instantly shut her down.
If he’s no longer in love with his wife, he will feel the need to be perceived as superior to her. He doesn’t respect her the way he used to, and he will be quicker to fight back against anything she says. Fights will become more common, and as a result, so will the ease he finds in pointing the finger at his wife. He will not be able to put his pride aside and admit she is right when he no longer loves her.
6. ‘I miss you'
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We all remember the honeymoon phase of our relationships when checking in on them throughout the day was a highlight. As relationships age, there may be fewer of those calls or texts checking in. However, couples in a happy marriage will usually still send a few "I miss you" texts on occasion.
When a husband no longer loves his wife, he will not feel like he misses her. He will enjoy the space he has from her. It’ll be hard for him to want to spend time with her, so saying he misses her is out of the question.
7. ‘I appreciate you’
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Showing gratitude to your partner is one of the most important things you can do. When a woman makes a lot of sacrifices for her husband, it means the world to her to hear how much he appreciates everything she does for him. Hearing compliments is a love language for a lot of women, and when a man is no longer in love with her, he will stop showing it with his words.
It’s not hard to say "I appreciate you." It’s a little gesture that goes a long way. When love is lost in a relationship, it’s hard for a husband to find appreciation for their wife. He likely no longer feels any appreciation towards her as he is looking to get out of the marriage.
8. ‘You are amazing’
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Words of affirmation are a love language for some women. “Psychologists have long been interested in the relationship between communication styles and relationship dynamics. Expressions of positive feelings and care, such as words of affirmation, are widely considered to be important for healthy relationships of all types, according to research,” says the team at Better Help.
When a man stops saying sweet things like "You’re amazing," he does not care about her feelings. He is likely long over their relationship. He will not go out of his way to give her words of affirmation because he likely doesn’t feel them anymore.
9. ‘I love you’
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This one is the most obvious. When someone refuses to say they love someone, it's clear they do not, right? Of course. However, when someone no longer loves his wife, he may try to avoid saying he loves her outright, but will tiptoe around it.
If you tell your husband that you love him and he replies, "You too," it doesn’t feel great. He is not outright saying he doesn’t love her anymore, as he seems to be going along with what she says. He may not be ready to tell her up front that he no longer loves her. It’s easier to just avoid saying it at all if he has a way to still keep her thinking he loves her.
10. ‘I’ll help you with that’
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Extending help is a sweet gesture. Especially when your wife is hard at work on something. Even a task as simple as helping with dinner or putting your clothes away without being asked can go a long way. When a man can no longer find it in him to offer this assistance, it’s clear he no longer loves her.
When children are involved, help from the other parent is especially important. It’s a lot of work to put on just one person. If he refuses to offer help without being asked directly, he is checked out of the marriage.
11. ‘Let’s make a plan’
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Why would someone want to make future plans with someone they no longer love? It’s not surprising that when love is lost, making plans becomes something of the past. It could be as simple as making an effort to go on dates, or as major as not being willing to solidify plans that are important for the future.
“First off, if someone genuinely cares about you and sees long-term potential, they naturally want to discuss where the two of you are headed. It's not forced, awkward, or something they dread,” says Liz Fischer.
They feel a sense of optimism and excitement about the idea of building a life together side by side. If he won't talk about the future, it's a red flag you can't ignore.” He no longer loves his wife when he does this, and will no longer care to plan their future together.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
