How To Score A Date In 12 Minutes Flat

Photo: Srdjan Randjelovic / Shutterstock
man and woman on coffee date

If you're short on time, but out there in the dating world, then you probably want to get right to the point and land something for Friday night, right? I mean, you've been dating forever, and isn’t it high time to get the rest of your life started with your soulmate? I think so.

A study out of the University of Kansas has found that, if you play your cards right and flirt like a champ, you can score a date in 12 minutes. What flirting like a champ means, according to the results is, "Starting off being encouraging and complimentary, and ending by being expressive and using open palm gestures." Then, voila! The date is secured and you’re on the way to the altar. Well, sort of.

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What the study found was that each minute of engagement counts. The researchers looked into the way 102 straight people interacted with each other, and how long it took for the other person to either become attracted or realize there was an attraction.

Here's how to score a date in 12 minutes flat:

The first one to three minutes was devoted to making compliments combined with flirty glances, then from minute four to six, the complimenting continued, and talking with open palms, if the subject was interested, ensued. By minute seven through nine, compliments ceased, but men gazed more while women let a secret or two slip, before closing out the final minutes with more open hands flapping around and joyfulness from women. See? Super easy, right?

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If at any point interest was lost it was conveyed by the crossing of the legs, shrugging, or, for women, touching their own hair, because sometimes our hair is really that much more exciting than a guy.

But the flirtation style that left a bad taste in the mouths of both men and women? Teasing. "The most fascinating thing for me was teasing for everybody, whatever style, was negative in regards to being attractive," noted chief researcher Dr. Jeffrey Hall. Creating distance, too, as in leaning back in one's chair was also something that neither men nor women found attractive in someone they were just meeting.

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Takeaway? Well, besides not teasing and leaning away from the person in whom you're interested, Dr. Hall believes that if you're aware of how you flirt and what others find attractive in a way others flirt, those looking for love can hone their skills and up their game.

Of course, this doesn't mean that every single man you run into tonight and try to work the 12-minute flirting technique on is going to go home with you, but you have to figure there are five 12-minute blocks in an hour, so if you play your cards right, you've got a shot at impressing at least someone. It's all about determination, open palms, and compliments. No problem, right?

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Amanda Chatel is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She's a regular contributor to Bustle and Glamour, with bylines at Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Livingly, Mic, The Bolde, Huffington Post, and others.