Hot Monogamy Can Exist! 3 Ways To Spark Your Relationship Fire

Nothing will change unless you do something.

Last updated on Jun 27, 2024

Monogamist couple gets hot and finds how to get the spark back in their marriage. Darren Baker | Canva

When I wrote my book, The Long Hot Marriage, my brother exclaimed, "Oh, you wrote a fairy tale!"   It was a funny line but let me tell you something: The Long Hot Marriage is no fairy tale! Hot monogamy is a reality! There's nothing better than being intimate with the person you love. And what makes it even better is that this person already knows what you like, so the intimacy can only get better. Here are 3 ways how to get the spark back in your marriage. This will make sure you experience the wonderful gift of a long and passionate relationship, and get you and your spouse back on the same wavelength.


RELATED: 10 Tiny Habits That Will Make You More Intimate Than 98% Of Couples

Here are 3 ways to spark your relationship fire:

1. Dare to leave your comfort zone often

Your ancestors did not do this with their partners. Take a chance, reveal something about yourself, and do something novel with your partner. Get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Be spontaneous with them. Randomly give your spouse a tender kiss in public, even if PDA isn't your thing. Show them that you care. Being vulnerable is the scariest, but best thing we can do for our relationships. S, be a maverick. You already know that the success you have had in other areas of your life would not have happened without taking some risks, why do you think your relationship would be any different?

@tonightsconversation Is this true about getting out of your “comfort zone” to get better results during dating? #dating #relationship ♬ original sound - Tonight's Conversation

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2. Practice seeing the best in your partner and compliment them often

Find ways to like your partner. Accept your partner’s flaws and fully enjoy his or her strengths. You chose this person to love, through thick and thin. That means at their best, and their worst. Understand that your partner is human, and is going to make mistakes and say stupid stuff. Forgive them and choose to love them anyway.

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3. Take an honest look at your mindset about intimacy 

Do you have any hang-ups or holdbacks? We all have them. You do need to hold onto your integrity. In other words, don’t do anything that is against your deepest principles or morals. However, be willing to express your desires more than before. Stretch in this area. Your partner is not a mind reader, and the only way we can get what we want is if we ask for it. Be more open and fluid in your mindset. Experiment with your partner. This all only happens if you take some time to work on yourself and your relationship. You need to do something different to create something different and hot monogamy with your partner is possible as long as you do the steps.  

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Todd Creager is a marriage and intimacy therapist, author, and speaker. He has been seen on Dating Advice, Celebuzz!, Playboy Radio, and more.