Guys, We Seriously Can't Date You When You're Wearing This Outfit

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Unbeknownst to me, there's an actual term for all those guys in their flashy, bright-colored outfits. You know the ones I'm talking about.

They seem to get dressed every morning with the same purpose in mind: to get you, to get all of us, to look at them, gawk at them, and in many cases, judge them.

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How can one not judge someone in a bright pink fedora? Whether they're male, female, or a cute puppy, it's never a good look.

Peacocking is just the term for these dudes and their affinity for their "Look at me! Look at me!" attire

They want you to look; they're begging you to look. But does it work out in their favor when it comes to dating?

Does anyone want to date the guy who thinks rocking a bright yellow onesie and Doc Martens is an appropriate night-on-the-town outfit? Maybe dinner with mom and dad?

A poll conducted by eBay Fashion asked 1000 people to give their thoughts on models who were decked out in "classic" clothing versus "peacocked."

The findings were just as you would expect: the peacock crew, although definitely winning points for confidence because you'd have to be pretty secure in yourself to rock some of these outfits, were overall judged pretty harshly.

It seems that the dudes who "peacock" don't look nice, smart, or even dateable. See? I knew no one wants to date the guy in the yellow onesie.

While what was deemed attractive, shifted a bit with each model's outfit, what came out on top was that men who peacock, in addition to being seen as less smart (62 percent vs. 69 percent), not so nice (66 percent vs. 69 percent), and far from relationship material (42 percent vs. 51 percent), they're also viewed as lacking in a sense of humor, too.

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Fifty-three percent of respondents felt that the classic guy was probably was funnier, compared to the 50 percent who were pretty sure that when it came to "HAHAs," the peacocking guy had it in the bag.

While that may not seem like a large amount, considering it's in addition to the already negative assumptions about men who march to the beat of their own drummer, it's just not looking good for them, at least on the dating scene.

But where men who infuse light into their life and wardrobe did score high was, as I mentioned, in confidence with 82 percent of people thinking they're pretty self-assured, compared to the 77 percent of people seeing confidence in the "normal" dressed men.

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Men who peacock are also presumed to be more adventurous and wealthier, too.

Sure, no one thinks you’re nice, but if they think you have money to spend on fun, maybe it will all work out. And, of course, scoring high marks for stylishness amongst those polled is just a given, even if some of these men look like they were let loose in a closet while blindfolded.

It's one thing to be confident and branch into other ends of the color spectrum besides grey and black, but it's another thing to blind people with your dyed-purple mink stole.

Purple rarely looks good on people anyway, and fur is just murder.

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Amanda Chatel is a New York-based lifestyle writer with a focus on sex, relationships, sexual health women's reproductive rights, feminism, and mental health. Her work has appeared on Glamour, Bustle, and HelloGiggles. Follow her on Twitter