3 Bright Green Flags To Look For In A Partner
Finding true love isn't only about knowing what not to look for.
NDAB Creativity / Shutterstock In today's dating world, we're all dealing with our fair share of hits and misses. And figuring out what to watch out for while dating isn't exactly a walk in the park.
The reality is, that those big red flags can sometimes secretly be disguised as glaring green flags. So, what are some foolproof signs to look for that tell us that the person we're dating might be worth keeping around?
Dating coach Sabrina Zohar breaks it down into three simple signs to keep an eye out for when you're on the hunt for a long-term partner.
Three Green Flags To Be On The Look Out For When Dating
1. They apologize when they're wrong
The most healthy people you'll date are the ones who take the most accountability for their mistakes.
Zohar adds, "They don't get defensive, they don't gaslight, they don't deflect, they don't walk out, they don't ignore your texts."
People that are green flags don't excuse their bad behavior — they own it.
And then you can have a conversation about it. Zohar says, "Because remember intent versus actions need to align and if they don't that's okay."
The reality is, we are bound to mess up and make mistakes. And although we make mistakes, how we make up for it can say a lot about our character.
So, if the person you're seeing is asking how they can make things right, then congrats, that's a huge green flag.
2. You have like-minded goals
"You guys align on do you want kids, do you want marriage? Where do you guys wanna live and how do you wanna live your life," asks Zohar.
Being like-minded is the foundation for any good relationship. But I get it, it's uncomfortable to talk about these topics. It's uncomfortable to talk about marriage, kids, or politics.
However, if you want to be in a committed relationship then you need to take time to talk about these things. If not, you risk wasting years of your life with someone who was never a great fit for you in the first place.
From my own experience, one of the first things I talked about with my now fiance was his thoughts surrounding marriage and kids. I asked him how long does he think is a good time to wait for these things. And what type of dynamic did he want between him and his future wife?
On the outside looking in this might seem invasive. But the reality is I didn't want to waste my time. I wanted to know right off the bat if this relationship was worth pursuing and well, it turned out it was.
3. You repair conflict as a team
"You're not against each other and just because you have an issue doesn't mean that you can't just talk about it," explains Zohar.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship, bringing up conflict without any problems is a must. However, if you find yourself hesitating, then you need to ask yourself why.
Why are you scared to bring up this issue? Is it because it makes you uncomfortable? It is because of a trauma response? Or is it because you don't feel safe with this person?
Zohar says, "Conflict is normal in every relationship including the early stages of dating. And it's important to assess can you guys actually move through things or maybe your just not compatible for each other."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.