Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Very Different Ideas Of What's Reasonable To Get Divorced Over
PeopleImages / Shutterstock Divorce is a major life decision, but what should really count as a dealbreaker when it comes to a marriage? Your answer might depend entirely on how old you are and how divorce and marriage were viewed when you were growing up. You might think that just because people are older, they tend to hold more traditional views about the conditions under which a marriage should end, but that isn't necessarily the truth when you really take a close look at how the different generations have approached divorce.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and baby boomers all have their own different ideas of what's a reasonable issue to get divorced over.
It might just surprise many young people to learn that the older folks they like to think are so stuffy may actually be more flexible in this regard than many of them are.
Baby boomers were the first generation to stand firm for the right to get divorced for absolutely any reason.
Many boomers do have a more traditional view of marriage, so they're less likely to see every rough patch as a reason to call it quits. Marriage is something they believe you should work at, even when things get messy. Still, it's important to remember that baby boomers were the generation responsible for this country's rapid rise in divorce rates as no-fault divorce rapidly became legal across the United States.
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To this day, baby boomers remain the generation with the highest divorce rate of all. And that isn't only based on their first wave of divorces back in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s. They're the same generation that made the term gray divorce popular in recent years.
Still, they do place value on commitment and stability, so they'll usually try to fix what's broken before deciding the marriage has run its course.
Gen X won't opt for divorce unless their partner isn't pulling their weight.
Having grown up as the first generation to watch their parents or, at least, their friends' parents get divorced as kids, Gen X has taken a fairly skeptical view of marriage from the start. But because they don't want to experience the same fate, Gen X is often willing to compromise for a good while in an effort to save a marriage.
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Still, they're not interested in being someone's parent or emotional punching bag. A little conflict is one thing, but feeling like they're the only ones doing all the work is quite another. For this generation, losing trust or feeling stuck in an unhappy marriage are valid reasons to walk away.
Gen X has also seen enough to know that staying together just for appearances isn't really worth it. They don't want to spend the rest of their lives settling for something that makes them miserable.
Millennials will consider divorce if they're not feeling mentally and emotionally fulfilled.
Millennials have higher expectations when it comes to their marriages, but they are also determined to make them work. They don't want to stay in a bad relationship just because that's what they're expected to do, but they also don't want to go through what they witnessed happen with their parents.
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Millennials see having a partner who communicates, shows up, shares the responsibilities, and makes them feel appreciated as the ideal situation. In short, they want a marriage that adds something to their life, not one that leaves them feeling drained.
To get there, they've taken more time getting to know potential partners before taking the leap into marriage. In the process, they've driven the country's divorce rates down below the 50% that people still mistakenly reference to a much rosier average of 40 to 42% for first marriages.
Gen Z won't tolerate marriages that don't feel healthy or supportive.
This generation is far less attached to the idea that marriage has to last forever at any cost. They value independence and personal satisfaction. They see even simple things like mismatched lifestyles or a lack of shared interests as acceptable reasons to reconsider a relationship. Being married isn't enough if they're not truly happy, and they don't see that as anything to be ashamed of.
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Behaviors that older generations might have brushed off as normal marriage struggles can stick out as major red flags to Gen Z. They're big on communication and having their boundaries respected, so if their partner is constantly dismissive and makes them feel like they're walking on eggshells all the time, a divorce might be the preferable alternative for them.
Kayla Asbach is a writer with a bachelor's degree from the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
