If You Do These 5 Things, You Will Never, Ever Lose Her

Make sure to do these 5 things to have a lasting kind of love.

man smiling Vitalii Matokha/ Shutterstock

By Kimanzi Constable

As soon as they walk into the room, you feel the electricity. In your eyes, they are perfect and time stands still as they talk. You don’t even hear their words because you're lost in your love for this person. As they talk, you battle a thought that creeps up in your mind from time to time.

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You have never been in love this much. The love is so strong that you know it can only end in one of two ways: a fairy tale ending or a colossal heartbreak. The thought that pops into your mind is of them realizing how special they are, and then deciding to look for someone better.


You are a strong man, but this love makes you feel weak. You spend more time than you should worry about losing them, and it causes you to do things that aren’t you. Here are ways to stop stressing yourself out and hold onto the person you love with everything in you.

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If you do these 5 things, you will never, ever lose her:

1. Give her space

No one likes being smothered. When you come on strong, it pushes them away. Each of us — man or woman — needs some personal space. Yes, there’s a lot you want to do as a couple. Yes, getting close is important in a relationship. But, absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Let your love hang out with their friends, and have an identity outside of the relationship. Let them be who they are and support them in having some space to breathe. Let them miss you as you do your own thing. Confidence in yourself and what you want out of life is sexy. 

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2. Grow in confidence in who you are 

As I mentioned in the previous point, men and women are attracted to a confident person. Over time, it gets exhausting to constantly reassure your partner that you love them and won’t leave them. The lack of confidence puts thoughts that can lead to the end of a relationship.


It’s important to grow in every area of your life as a man. You should do the inner work that leads to strength and confidence. This inner work includes physical exercise, and mental exercise through reading, writing, and learning. Emotional exercise through meditation, prayer, or whatever it takes for you to connect with an idea bigger than yourself. Continue to build confidence in your masculinity.

3. Don’t let yourself go 

Letting yourself go can damage your confidence. You get comfortable in your relationship — which you should — and that comfort can lead you to make poor choices. You should feel comfortable with who you are, and in this person that you love, but that doesn’t mean you should stop trying to be the best version of yourself.

Make healthy food choices as you work out consistently. Get yourself in the kind of shape that drives them nuts when you’re about to make love.

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4. Let her know you’re interested 

You’ve probably heard that you should never stop dating in a long-term relationship, but this goes beyond that. They should know you want to devour them right there, on the spot. You are sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to them, and you have a fire for them that won’t die.

Complimenting them is just the start. Show your affection physically, such as hugging, kissing, and even massaging. Let your actions show that you lust after them in every way possible, not just sexually. Your confidence in who you are should help here.

5. Choose love every day

After it’s all said and done, a relationship survives and grows based on choices. Love is not a feeling — it’s a decision. You decide to love by being faithful. You decide to love by being the best version of yourself. You decide to love by being willing to put in the hard work. You may not “feel” love all the time, and that’s okay, your life isn’t a movie. Choose your love every day and back that choice up with the actions you take.

They take your breath away. They make you want to be a better man. While it feels like a fantasy, it can be your everyday reality. You can withstand the test of time and struggles. I’ve given you five ways, but there are many more.


If you, as a man, can commit to being the best version of yourself, you’ll have what you need to maintain the relationship. Be a confident man who’s not afraid to wear his heart on his sleeve. Love like this may only happen once in your life — cherish the experience.

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Kimanzi Constable is the author of four books. His articles have been published in Forbes, Entrepreneur Magazine, Business Insider, SUCCESS Magazine, NBC, CBS, FOX, and more.