4 Disturbing Symptoms People Often Develop After Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist
Jayne Slater | Pexels All people have some narcissistic traits: They can help you become a tougher person, give you the right amount of confidence, and allow you to set limits on how others treat you. Research has shown how narcissism can be activated in situations of need, scarcity, stress, and survival. Nevertheless, some people take these traits to a disturbing and unhealthy extreme.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you’ll notice they expect endless praise from you. Narcissists want to control others, usually by separating them from the ones who support them. Narcissists try to lower others’ self-esteem to boost their own. All of these actions are abusive, and victims of such abuse may find that they develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms.
This condition is called Post Narcissist Stress Disorder (PNSD). Much like PTSD, PNSD is a condition that affects people who have been in a close relationship with a narcissist. Living with a narcissist can be extremely exhausting and can cause psychological trauma to the other person because narcissists are usually manipulative and abusive. They try to gaslight their victims and always act for the sake of their own interests. After getting rid of a narcissist, people go through a period of helplessness, distress, rage, or depression, the same as after any other traumatic situation.
Here are 4 disturbing symptoms people often develop after a relationship with a narcissist:
1. Dismantled self-esteem
Generally, narcissistic abuse consists of all sorts of unloving actions that aim at the gradual dismantling of your self-esteem by the abuser. Unfortunately, the narcissist does not like themselves, so they hurt you to feel normal. A person with a narcissistic personality lacks understanding and sympathy for others, a study explained. Such people often harass others emotionally and physically.
As with anything, people who have narcissistic personalities display mild to extreme malicious characteristics. Narcissists might not even realize or care how harmful their presence is because they are too concentrated on trying to satisfy their own selfish needs. A narcissist’s toxicity can be extremely dangerous and cause severe psychological damage to people who are regularly exposed to it.
2. Painful memories
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Like PTSD, people with PNSD can have painful memories that feel as if they are reliving the same trauma over and over again. Research has suggested some common symptoms of PNSD include intrusive memories that provoke anxiety, avoidance, and lead to withdrawal from social activities and hyper-vigilant emotions. Such emotions or events can damage both our personal and professional lives. But, unless officially diagnosed, people should not presume the presence of the disorder.
3. Low tolerance for failure
A person traumatized by narcissistic abuse has an obsession with their failures and an incapacity to deal with difficult situations. A lot of people think the relationship has completely failed because they didn’t meet certain criteria or didn’t live up to expectations, and this is even more the case with people suffering from PNSD.
People with PNSD are usually eager to find answers to solve the specific issues causing their (sometimes imaginary) lack of success. However, these thinking patterns are often full of self-blame. A study of continuous stress helped explain how the condition comes as a response to the long-term exposure to the abusive, belittling treatment of a narcissist.
4. Difficulty adjusting to daily life
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One of the main signs of PNSD is the inability to recover and go back to normal life. People who have lived with narcissists usually adjust to the abuse. Eventually, when they get rid of the narcissist’s influence, the survivor may find it tough to adjust to life again. A person who is trying to return to the habits typical of their life before loving a narcissist may experience paranoia, panic attacks, or depression. They may also doubt their memories and perceptions.
But there’s something positive about all this. Here is what specialists from Mayo Clinic think: “Most people who go through traumatic events may have temporary difficulty adjusting and coping, but with time and good self-care, they usually get better.”
The symptoms outlined here are among the most common, but surely not the only ones we have to pay attention to, which is why we have prepared a list of other symptoms of PNSD:
- Physical and emotional responses to traumatic relapse
- Disturbing thoughts or memories presented as nightmares and flashbacks
- Difficulty in focusing or falling asleep
- Conflicting feelings about oneself and others, even people who care
- A distorted sense of blame related to the trauma caused by the narcissist
- Social retreat and isolation
- Avoiding tendencies related to feelings, people, or situations connected to the trauma caused by the narcissist
- Hyper-vigilance, anger, and being easily frightened
- Fear or panic for no apparent reason
- Inconsistent or conflicting beliefs that lead to low self-esteem
Most narcissists won’t undergo therapy since they don’t believe there is anything wrong with their personality. Hence, healing from narcissistic abuse is most often a process a person has to go through alone.
Keep in mind that a narcissist’s persistent negative influence could ruin your self-confidence and make you feel unworthy, so you need to end the relationship before the psychological trauma becomes extreme. If you are unable to leave, a therapist can assist you in learning to communicate effectively and set limits so the narcissist cannot manipulate you.
If you’re in a relationship with a narcissist and their influence is hindering your normal life, it’s essential to ask for professional help and support to restore your confidence and self-esteem.
Maria Hakki is a writer for I Heart Intelligence, a lifestyle website devoted to relationship tips and health.
