Dear Husbands: Helping Out With Chores Is Hot

Ditch the stale gender roles, and create a more intimate connection.

Last updated on Jun 27, 2024

Man helping out with household chores Prostock-studio | Canva

What says "love" to you within marriage? It differs between couples — and even so from one individual to another. But let's make one thing clear. Men who do chores are sexy. What woman wouldn't love it if her husband made her daily chores a little more manageable by doing the following activities:

  • Help unload the dishwasher instead of planting himself in front of the television to watch ESPN after she cooked his favorite dinner
  • Start a load of laundry without being asked and without a helpless, "I don't know how to separate the clothes" attitude.
  • Make the bed if he's the last one up in the morning
  • Help out with meal preparation instead of asking every 3 minutes when the food will be ready
  • Run the vacuum occasionally because he knows it's your least favorite chore

These are all gestures that proclaim love and appreciation. Even if your husband is good about thanking you and being sincerely grateful for your daily efforts to make your lives comfortable, helping with the chores communicates "We are a team; I love you." No one wants to feel taken for granted in love, and an overload of household chores can easily dampen the desire for romance.

@taraboddie937 Sharing household responsibilities in a marriage is not just about dividing chores; it's a cornerstone of building a strong, equitable partnership. When both spouses contribute to the upkeep of their home and family, it reduces stress and resentment while strengthening the bond, and cultivates a harmonious and fulfilling marriage where both partners feel valued and supported. #Christian #Marriage #dating ♬ original sound - Tara Boddie, LMHC

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For a lasting, loving, and rewarding marriage, each spouse needs to feel appreciated, loved, and respected. Every relationship has its manner of relating and conveying appreciation, which allows the relationship to flourish. It is the lack of balance that can easily create resentment. 

When bitterness takes root in the heart, a breakdown of that shared intimacy is dangerously close. Working with individuals and couples over the years as a relationship coach, I have seen the consequences of taking each other for granted. Doing the little things and being attentive to one another over time add up to a loving marriage. 

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@dougweaverart Replying to @channyandy basic lifeskills are not permanently attractive. #attraction #couple #marriage #dating #men #women #domesticlabor ♬ original sound - dougweaverart

The key is to openly communicate when you feel overwhelmed with too many responsibilities. Traditional gender role models work for some couples but are not for everyone. Expressing to your spouse what says "love" to you and taking the initiative to show your love in the manner they want to receive it will lessen the likelihood of resentment forming in your marriage.


RELATED: Why Couples Who Don't Split The Chores Are More Likely To Break Up

Emotional fulfillment is an essential element toward romantic connection and strong intimacy. Marriage is not exclusively for you; each spouse should be committed to making the other person feel content and fulfilled. Becoming less focused on What's-in-it-for-me and turning toward How-can-I-help will lead you to the desires of both your hearts.

Dirty sink chores need to be done JOSEMANUEL246 via Shutterstock


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Nancy Pina is a highly recognized author, relationship coach, and speaker. She is dedicated to helping individuals attract emotionally healthy relationships.