Couples Who Still Reach For Each Other In Their 60s And 70s Have These 7 Things In Common
Unai Huizi | Canva Being in a relationship is amazing if it’s with someone you truly connect with. It can almost feel as if you’re in a Nicholas Sparks novel. But when we think about relationships, we tend to go back to what made the romance grow into what it is now.
Being friends is immensely important in order to let your relationship grow into being a couple who still reach for each other in your 60s and 70s. A romance that’ll last requires a strong foundation, not just attraction. So, here are the reasons why you should be friends before lovers in a relationship.
The couples who still reach for each other in their 60s and 70s have these 7 things in common:
1. Couples who still reach for each other always have fun together
If you and your partner are friends before lovers, then you will always have fun with each other. You will never get bored with one another, and it also brings out your adventurous side if you didn’t have one already.
Couples who build their romance on a real friendship don't have to manufacture chemistry because it's already there. Research shows that couples with a strong friendship are more likely to enjoy each other's company, respect each other's ideas, and be more forgiving of each other's mistakes.
2. Couples who still reach for each other build trust and communicate well
Micah & Sammie Chaffin / Unsplash
Every relationship should start lowly and with trust and communication. Moreover, if you're friends before partners, you’ll have the right amount of time to do it as you’re getting to know each other. You have to fall in love with someone for who they truly are, and that takes time. Furthermore, it makes you feel more comfortable around them and open up more. And that’s the definition of friendship.
The couples who communicate most openly are the ones who built enough trust early on to be honest with each other. Couples therapist Talia Litman notes that the most enduring relationships are built on companionate love, which grows from shared values, mutual respect, and genuinely liking the person you're with.
3. Couples who still reach for each other give each other reasons to fall in love all over again
Being friends before lovers gives you a reason to fall in love all over again, simply because you’ll always be surprised by the small things your lover does for you. It could simply be a handwritten note, store-bought flowers, or getting some takeout. It reminds you of why they had you at “hello” in the first place.
The small things aren't just sweet gestures. According to renowned American psychologist Dr. John Gottman, it's exactly these ordinary moments of intentional connection that sustain long-term intimacy and keep partners emotionally close year after year.
4. Couples who still reach for each other have something to look forward to every day
When a friendship is at the base of a relationship, the partners will always have something exciting to look forward to. Since each day you grow together as a couple, you can experience life together and find the things you enjoy the most.
Couples therapist Moshe Ratson explains that couples who last are the ones who consistently create shared experiences to look forward to, alongside the everyday moments they already share.
5. Couples who still reach for each other always have good memories to reflect on
Hoi An and Da Nang Photographer / Unsplash
Being friends before lovers allows you to make good memories to look back on with your partner. This, in turn, will make you fall in love all over again as you reflect on your journey together. It’ll never feel like it’s getting old.
Research confirms that a friendship-based relationship creates a reservoir of shared understanding and companionship that gives couples something real to draw on when life gets hard.
6. Couples who still reach for each other understand each other’s weaknesses
Since your partner is your friend, you’ll get to know their weak traits. Moreover, you’ll love them more because of that.
A study of 209 married couples found that accepting a partner's imperfections is directly tied to both partners' relationship satisfaction, because when someone feels genuinely accepted, that sense of security flows back into the relationship itself.
7. Couples who still reach for each other always find common ground ground
Being friends before lovers gives you a chance to find common interests with your partner. Furthermore, it allows you to have something to grow your relationship on. For example, my boyfriend and I bond over our love for writing podcasts and movies from the past.
A 2024 study found that couples who regularly share activities they both enjoy report stronger emotional bonds, better conflict resolution, and a deeper sense of growing together over the course of their relationship.
It was also one of the things that made us become friends in the beginning. I hope these reasons will convince you to begin a romantic relationship by developing a deep friendship.
Tylia Flores is an author, advocate, activist, podcast creator, and host who focuses on relationships, entertainment news, and love.
