Common Phrases That Are Never Good, But Don't Always Mean A Relationship Is Over
Not every painful phrase is a breakup sentence.
Rachata Teyparsit | Shutterstock "I love you, but I’m not in love with you."
These words can be the hardest to hear in the world. The sentence cuts like a knife. But what does it mean when someone you love says this?
While it can be a sign of trouble in your relationship, and it is not what you wanted to hear, this statement isn't always a bad thing. When your partner is willing to voice a deep concern, even if it is worded poorly, it is a sign that there is hope for the future of the relationship. Yet, there is work for both people to do.
Here are 5 common phrases that are never good, but don't always mean a relationship is over:
1. 'It's over'
It’s your worst fear realized. People will drop this line during a serious talk about the future of your relationship, or say it totally unprompted. Either way, they’re laying the groundwork for the breakup in no uncertain terms.
Chances are, you know this is what they’re saying, even if you can’t admit it to yourself yet. But that’s not the only reason someone will say, "It's over" when they mean there are serious problems.
2. 'We’re not there yet'
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Sometimes, people say this as a way of warning us to back off. They want you to know they have strong feelings, but they’re afraid things are moving too fast. That’s fine, it is OK to slow down.
This is usually in response to you telling them you love them or are in love with them. It’s the best-case scenario when someone says, "We’re not there yet," because it means they’re still interested in moving forward. They’re just afraid of screwing things up.
3. 'I don’t want to get back together'
If your ex says this to you, it’s often their way of softening the blow. They want you to know they appreciate your time together and they still think a great deal of you. But they feel like they don’t want you back, and need you to hear it.
Whether or not they really mean it, it's still smart. If your ex tells you they love you but they don't want to get back together, it is their way of saying, "Move on. We both have work to do on ourselves."
4. 'I only see you as a friend'
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This is the "I love you as a friend" that many people will pull out if they can tell you’re pushing for more than friendship.
It hurts the most when it comes from someone you care deeply about. If a friend says this to you, you need to respect their wishes and back off.
It doesn’t mean their feelings for you won’t ever become romantic, but they will have to develop on their own without you trying to change their mind.
5. 'The spark is gone'
When your relationship lacks the passion and excitement it once had, your partner says, "I love you, but the spark is gone." It's not always as serious and relationship-ending as it may sound. It’s often more of a cry for help. Believe it or not, this can be a good thing.
Often, relationships will wither and die with both parties afraid to face the truth: This isn’t working. If your partner is willing to admit this, as hard as it is to hear, it means you have a shot at fixing things before it’s too late.
Now’s the time you need to put all your focus into spending time together, recapturing the magic, and taking the necessary steps to build a healthy relationship.
Brad Browning is a relationship coach and breakup expert from Vancouver, Canada. He has 10 years of experience working with couples to repair and improve relationships.
