12 Comforting Signs You're His 'One That Got Away'
If he's still haunted by you, these signs make it pretty obvious.
LeaDigszammal | Shutterstock Almost everyone has that one person they wish they'd treated better — the one they regret losing, the one who makes them wonder "what if." That's what people mean when they say someone is the one that got away. The phrase actually started as a fisherman’s joke ("you should've seen the one that got away!"), but in love, it describes the person who slipped through someone's fingers, leaving behind a lifetime of "what could’ve been."
For men, realizing they let go of a good woman is a mistake that tends to stick with them. Maybe he didn't appreciate you, maybe he took you for granted, or maybe he thought he could do better ... until he realized he couldn't. If you've ever wondered whether you're the woman he still regrets losing, here are reassuring signs that you really are the one that got away.
Here are 12 comforting signs that you are his 'one that got away':
1. He remembers how well you treated him
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You always made a point of trying to please him, shower him with gifts, and lift him up. He, on the other hand, treated you badly. Maybe controlling you, making you feel worthless, or ignoring you.
Chances are that when he looks back in a couple of years, he’ll realize what he left behind — nearly 77 percent of men who initiated a breakup say they regret it within two months.
2. You’ve heard his new partner treats him badly
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As messed up as it is to say, having someone treat you the way you treated your ex can give you a reality check about what you may have lost in the past.
It stings when the person he left you for makes him feel the same way he once treated you — and it's often the reality check that makes him realize you’re the one that got away.
3. He looks for excuses to stay in your orbit
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A man who really regrets what he’s done to you will often try to come up with an excuse to stay in your presence. He suddenly "needs" to talk or has random reasons to reach out, all so he can still be around you.
He may actively try to come up with a reason why you two need to talk. In fact, in about one-third of on-again/off-again cases, it's the guy — the dumper — who reaches back out first. Make no mistake about it, he’s trying to get back in your good graces, but might be too ashamed to admit it.
4. His friends say he's miserable without you.
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When guys who have pride issues are dealing with the fallout of making a mistake like dumping a good woman, they may enlist the help of friends to convey everything to you.
Why? Because they’re too embarrassed yet prideful to admit they did wrong, so they’re hoping you will go back to them.
5. He eventually admits he was wrong
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Most of the time, it takes a while for the loss to sink in. If he’s calling you up and telling you he was wrong, he probably regrets losing you or the resources you had at your disposal.
Even if he does this, you probably shouldn’t take him back. Who’s to say he won’t take you for granted again?
6. He stays single for years
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Guys who are totally hung up on an ex tend to stay single for years after they break up with them. If he’s still not attached after a year, two years, or more, you might be someone he’ll never fully get over. About half of people enter a new relationship within 20 months, and it can take years for emotional attachment to fade.
7. His life went downhill after you
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A lot of guys, in a moment of bravado or stupidity, will dump good women when they feel like they’re going to go places. Of course, most guys who do this end up realizing that they just left a girl who liked them when the chips were down.
Most guys who have their lives fall apart will crawl back to the ones who had their back when things weren’t quite as sweet.
8. He tells you outright
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If he says you're "the one that got away," especially with guilt in his voice, believe him — even if you don't take him back. It doesn’t really get much more obvious than that. When someone voices a heartfelt apology tinged with remorse, studies show we're much more inclined to believe they're truly sorry.
If he said that, particularly if you get a "guilty" vibe, he’s regretting it. But that doesn’t mean he’s worth getting back with.
9. He notices how many people are interested in you
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When you’re admired and moving forward in life while he’s stuck, it hits him how badly he messed up — especially since research shows that men experience the strongest jealousy when someone more attractive enters the picture. This suggests that he might have been very foolish when deciding to call it quits with you.
If you have guys offering to be with you, talking about serious long-term stuff, and girls just shy away from him, chances are he’s regretting it.
10. He watches you thrive without him
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Seeing you succeed, grow, and live your best life without him makes him realize exactly what he lost.
Let’s just be real for a moment. If you think that Taylor Swift’s high school sweetheart isn’t regretting the fact that he dumped her, you’re wrong. Right now, he’s nobody, and his ex is rolling in millions. Even if he hated her, part of him will always regret dumping her because she could have given him an amazing life.
The same rule applies to smaller-scale things. Even if he claims he doesn't care, watching you thrive without him is a tough pill to swallow.
11. It bothers him that you cut off contact
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Going no contact makes him question everything and wonder if he threw away something irreplaceable. This is the beauty of this move: it makes every guy, regardless of what you did, wonder if he did the right thing.
Experts say that the no-contact rule helps you process your emotions and recognize your feelings of loss. It also makes your absence feel more impactful and can sometimes trigger that familiar "what did I do" panic. If you went completely no contact and kept it that way, he’s likely regretting his move just a wee bit.
12. He feels guilty about hurting you
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Most of the time, when guys regret a breakup, they regret the way they hurt you the most. The memory of how he broke your heart lingers, and part of him will always regret the way he treated you.
That's not just romantic speculation — research from the German Family Panel shows that guilt ranks high among post-breakup emotions, especially for the person who ended things
At the end of the day, being "the one that got away" isn't about rubbing it in his face — it's about knowing your worth. If he's regretting letting you go, that's on him. You've already proven you were the real catch all along.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of Red Bank, New Jersey who writes primarily about lifestyle, food, finance, and relationships. You can follow her on Twitter.
