10 Ways To Get Over A Painful Breakup As Quickly As Humanly Possible

Healing hints to get over a breakup without getting stuck in heartache.

Repairing heart after breaking up Mentalmind | Shutterstock, bolakaretstudio | Canva 

Everybody hates getting dumped. Unfortunately, the pain of romantic rejection after a relationship ends is unavoidable. For anyone asking, "How long does it take to get over a breakup?" the answer is inevitably, "Far too long."

Learning how to break up with someone you love and mend your broken heart isn't easy. However, you can do it.

You don't have to live with the pain of heartbreak forever.

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Here are 10 ways to overcome a painful breakup as quickly as humanly possible:

1. Focus on the positive.

Don’t fixate on the negatives. Stay optimistic and pay attention to how far you’ve come in life. Notice and appreciate your ability to overcome so many of life’s obstacles.

Tell yourself, "I’ve got this" — and believe it because you do have it.

2. Give yourself some TLC.

Following a painful experience, we all need to tend to our wounds and heal.

Make a conscious effort to practice self-care, and indulge yourself in things you may otherwise skip — such as hobbies, exercise, proper nutrition, or yoga — because you are worth it.


3. Accept the truth.

Life is, unfortunately, unfair, and this is a universal truth.

Acceptance that sometimes life doesn't go our way and exploring our expectations will allow you to let go and find happiness from within.

4. Know you are not the problem.

Romantic rejection is not a rejection of your character or you as a person.

There is nothing wrong with you. Just because love isn't reciprocated does not mean you are somehow defective. You are lovable.



5. Cherish yourself.

You are the only person that can give yourself value.


What you think of yourself is the most important, far more important than the opinion of others. As a human being, you have intrinsic worth.

Repeat these words to yourself: "I am worthy."

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6. Be resilient.

Resilience is the best predictor of success. Don’t let this one rejection ruin everything in your life.

You will overcome this, and you will overcome worse than this.

7. Challenge unhelpful thoughts.

They’re doing nothing to help you achieve the life you want. Focus on healthy, positive, supportive self-statements. Notice what your wise internal mind is saying to you, and ignore the hurt inner child’s negative self-talk.


No negative self-talk allowed!

8. Set goals for self-improvement.

Ask yourself: "What is my baggage? What do I need to do to overcome it?"

Then, create small, achievable steps to reach each goal. You'll get there.

9. Get introspective.

Ask yourself: "What are my strengths, and how can I magnify them? What are my weaknesses, and how can I improve on them?"

Then, tell yourself, "I rock this!"

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10. Get busy and get to work on your goals!

If you want to learn to become more outgoing, try joining a program like Toastmasters. If you want to meet new people, attend a Meetup or another local club meeting. If you want to improve your appearance, make an appointment with a hairdresser or a personal trainer.

Now is the time for action! You can do this!

The torturous process of getting over a breakup with a person you've deeply loved causes a hurt as real and painful as a physical injury. This is because not only do you experience the emotional wounds of rejection, but the pain receptors in your brain are affected.

As explained in the New York Times, "A signal is sent through the vagus nerve from our brain to our heart and stomach. The muscles of our digestive system contract, making it feel like there’s a pit in the deepest part of our stomach. Our airways constrict, making it harder to breathe. The rhythmic beating of our heart is slowed so noticeably that it feels like our heart is breaking."


Dealing with a breakup feels like being slapped across the face.

Rejection and heartbreak can feel as painful as the loss associated with the death of a loved one.

However, it's not your fault, and it's not an indication of your inherent worth as an individual.

You are a worthy, deserving person. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.


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Joanne Brothwell, BSW, MSW, RSW, ACC, is a licensed therapist and social worker with more than 20 years of clinical experience providing counseling to individuals, couples, and families.