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According to a relationship expert.
By Yasmin Abouelhassan — Written on Oct 05, 2022
When trying to determine if a man is husband material, it often takes looking past sweet words and rose colored glasses and really paying attention to actions.
In general, women tend to rely on words, whereas men rely more on actions to show their love. So, when men speak sweetly to women, women believe them, even if they don't behave accordingly.
Many men, on the other hand, see how women behave and interpret the behavior to mean what they want to believe, regardless of what the woman says.
So, if you say you don't love him but continue being intimate with him, all your words are in vain — he interprets your actions and draws his own conclusions about how you feel.
This discrepancy between words and behavior is especially problematic in marriage-bound relationships.
Here are the five types of guys who are not husband material, and likely aren't the right match for you in a long term relationship:
1. The "help me until I'm ready" guy
The "need help" type is totally entrenched in his own insecurities. He only talks about his own problems — never yours — but he wants a lady by his side because it makes him feel worthy.
So, he keeps her there by asking her to help him "until he's ready."
But, guess what: He'll never be ready, and so, he is not husband material.
2. The "talks about marriage abstractly" guy
Since he knows women unfortunately believe words, not actions, he will talk about marriage and future plans with you, knowing it's what you want to hear.
But that's all he'll do; no further action towards a proposal is ever taken.
There is never a timeframe for actions; actions are even never discussed, and if they come up, the conversation suddenly goes in a different direction.
3. The "lets you talk about marriage but won't participate" guy
This guy lets you do all the talking about marriage you like.
He knows you dream about it; he listens to you discuss it in great detail — where your home will be, what kind of furniture you'll buy, what kind of wedding you want. And when you ask him about dreams, he says, "Whatever you want, honey."
Always look at his actions. If there aren't any and he's all talk, he's not husband material.
4. The "bear with me" guy
He finds nice, logical excuses that seem acceptable.
You know, he can't take action now because he's busy with his career, or his weight loss, or his parents' needs. You name it, and the statement is "Bear with me."
5. The "let's have fun first" guy
He sticks around for the thrill of the game. When the fun is out, he's on to a new adventure and someone new to chase. He's not here for future plans or kids or family or even settling down and confiding in one woman. He wants and talks about fun and about phsyical intmacy.
Whenever you talk marriage, his face changes, the fun ends, and the statement he repeats is, "You are spoiling the moment," hoping you'll eventually drop the subject.
If you don't, soon he'll be out and about for another thrill. He's definitely not marriage material, for you or anyone else at this point in time.
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Yasmin Abouelhassan is a Certified Comprehensive Coach, Licensed Relationship Coach and Founder of Happy Family Relationship Coaching.