Heartbreak

To The Man Who Promised Me He'd Divorce His Wife — And Never Did

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romantic relationship

To The Man Who Made a Fool of Me,

You know who I am. I'm the woman you made cry more often than not. 

You came on strong and romantic. You made it seem as if I were the most important woman to you. You contacted me all the time. Even the idea of seeing me for 15 minutes could make you happy.

You bought me my favorite things. You helped me. You showered attention on me. You told me each day that you missed me. 

Yet, there was one small problem: You weren't divorced yet.

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It was coming, you said. You two had been separated now for over two years. You two hadn't made love or touched in over two years. It was over, or so you said... or was it? 

You said you were done with her and would never go back. She had done you wrong and the two of you were too far gone. The marriage was over. Dead. Done. But yet there was no divorce agreement — no lawyers or mediators to be seen.

And as much as you would get close to me and profess your feelings, you were held back from me. You weren't introducing me to your friends or family. You weren't ready for a relationship. You weren't ready to be in love.

You weren't ready to have those feelings for me, yet there you were, having those feelings, treating me like your girlfriend, but I wasn't your girlfriend. I was a mistress. I was the other woman.

You had one foot in your old life and the other foot in mine. You had one hand around my heart, and the other hand on hers. 

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You wanted me, yet you didn't want to do what it would take to really have me. You wanted me enough to not lose me, but not enough to lose her. To lose your old life.

Your talk was cheap. You professed divorce, but here you were, almost 2.5 years later, still a married man

I didn't ask for you to talk to me. You found me at a restaurant and picked me up, saying you didn't want to lose contact with me. I was too beautiful, you said.

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I was sitting there innocently, eating my lunch, minding my own business, and not looking for a man who wouldn't leave his marriage to mess with me. But I believed what you said. I believed you cared. I believed it was over between the two of you and that you loved me.

I was naive. Stupid. Foolish. That's right — you made a fool out of me. I loved you with every single inch of my being and, in the end, did you choose me? No.

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You didn't. You stuck your hooks into me and had me whenever you could fling your fishing line back up, but when it got too serious or were told you had to move forward with your divorce, you flung me back in the ocean. You had your cake and you ate it too while smiling.

You said I hurt you. You said it hurts. You said I meant something to you. You said it was just bad timing. 

You said excuse after excuse, but the bottom line is: You aren't here and you aren't with me. And I was an utter fool for you.

Signed,

The Woman Who Foolishly Loved You

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Alex Alexander is a pseudonym. The author of this article is known to YourTango but is choosing to remain anonymous.

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