4 Teensy Signs The Person You Love Does Not Love You Back

Photo: PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock
unhappy couple sitting on couch at home

The one-way street has been around for years and used to keep traffic flowing in one direction. While they are efficient in a city where traffic and pedestrians co-mingle, the one-way concept doesn't serve the same purpose in relationships. In a world where communication is more focused on technology rather than face-to-face conversations, the love you have for someone may be like a one-way street; it’s moving but only in one direction. How do you know when the person you love doesn't love you back? If you feel like you’re living in a one-way relationship, there are four warning signs which can help determine the direction your relationship is headed.

Here are 4 early warning signs the person you love does not love you back:

1. He doesn't initiate contact

Who contacts whom? Are you the one reaching for the phone to text or call multiple times a day? Do they respond quickly or is it sometimes several hours or not at all? When you’re in love, initiating contact is natural. You want to talk and share. Depending on your personal preferences, it may always be more natural for one of you to initiate contact. However, when both parties are actively engaged in the relationship, it will be more equally shared. In a balanced relationship, whether it is a phone call, text, post, or even an email, the communication is moving forward not idle.



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2. He doesn't show much affection

How do they show their love? When you’re in love, you spend time understanding the needs of your partner. Affection is not just about being intimate, but touch, words, gestures, and even acts of kindness. Has the way your partner shows affection changed or even become non-existent? If so, why? Is it forced or do you initiate affection hoping for a response? In relationships and life, hope is never a strategy.

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3. He's distant

When together, is it as if they are somewhere else? If so, this is a sign they may be wanting to be with someone else or in another place. Individuals often speak about their partners being "more distant than usual." In a healthy relationship, a partner may be able to determine the reason behind the distant behavior. In an unequally balanced relationship, the reasons may not be so obvious. Do they listen when you speak? Do you they even talk at all? Do they look bored, uninterested, or even lonely when they are with you? It could be time to give them some space and see what happens. The distance may increase, and this can be hurtful. However, while harmful, your heart could end up only bruised and not broken.



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4. He's not honest with you

Do you feel that they're no longer honest with you? One of the cornerstones of a sustainable relationship is honesty. The person who loves you will be honest even when it hurts. Some will tell you what you want to hear just to get you to leave them alone. Others are so brutal with their words, so you ask yourself, "Is this love?" At times, it seems as if there is no middle ground. If honesty has been a substantial part of your relationship and it has changed, there is a problem? 

If you ask questions and they refuse to respond or act defensive, either they are afraid to hurt you, or they simply don’t care. Either way, this is a dangerous place and a time for some serious soul-searching. A one-way street, at times, can be difficult to navigate. The worst scenario is to find yourself going in the wrong direction. The same is true for a one-way relationship. The person wanting it to work will do just about anything, while the other one wants out.

The good news is that it's up to you. Don’t continue down a one-way street with no direction. Do you initiate the contact and affection? Are they distant in their actions and words? Has honesty been replaced with lies and defensive behaviors? If so, stop the madness! Trust yourself. They may have "lost that lovin' feeling", but you have the power to change your direction and ultimately your future. If you let yourself venture out and travel a block or two in either direction, and you'll find a two-way street full of happiness and endless opportunities for love!

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Brenda Descamps is a Board Certified Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a seasoned HR professional with 30 years of experience in talent management, talent strategy, business coaching, and more.