14 Signs Your Relationship Is Dead In The Water

If you're noticing these signs, you need to abandon hope of things getting better.

couple looking sad fizkes / Shutterstock

You may be in a relationship where even though you have a feeling the relationship is over, you stay, hoping that things will get better or even return to the happy dynamic it once was.

In some cases, things do get better. If you ask most people who have been in that situation, though, they'll tell you it only got worse.

If you're in a relationship that seems to be getting more uneven or more depressing every day, these signs might indicate that it's time to walk away. Things won't get better if you're seeing these things happening.


Here are 14 signs your relationship is dead in the water:

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1. You've lowered your standards

Looking back, you realize that the person you used to be wouldn't tolerate half of the things you're currently putting up with.


Back when you first started dating, you wouldn't hear of having your date rely on you for dinner money, or hearing how his mother talks about you. But now, it's the norm. You can't help but look back and wonder what happened.

Rather than wonder about it, it's time to put your foot down and find someone who won't treat you that way.

2. You're letting too many things slide

You keep telling yourself it's temporary, but deep down, you know you don't believe it. This is because, deep down, you know he's been training you to tolerate his stuff and it won't get better. It's time to leave.

3. There's no sense of urgency to work on the relationship

Any request you make to improve the relationship is met with stonewalling, deflection, blaming you, delaying, anger, or being told you're a nag.


All of these tactics are things people use when they legit don't want to put effort into a relationship. When they just don't want to bother, it's time to throw in the towel. You can't make a relationship work by itself.

4. The relationship is no longer a support system

If you look at your life, you notice that you could probably do it all on your own and get more emotional support from friends.

When you feel more alone in your relationship than you would feel single, it may be time to look elsewhere for love. It's no longer a partnership — it's turned into a parasitic situation.

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5. You constantly make sacrifices for them, but they don't sacrifice anything

Once again, this is a clear sign that you're the only one who wants to make things work. It's time to walk.

6. Things only improve if you threaten to leave, or actually try to leave

Nope. Nope, nope, nope. Don't fall for their hysterical bonding. If you go back, it'll only get worse.

7. The bad behavior escalated

He used to only yell, but now he hits. He used to insult, but now he yells. He used to borrow politely, but now he demands. How much longer will it escalate until you realize you needed to leave yesterday?

8. Even if he did try to improve things, you resent him too much to deal with

Once resentment seeps into a relationship, it's DOA. It's done. Kaput. Resentment is a love killer, and it's not something most relationships recover from. If you resent him, let go of him.


9. You can't honestly say you respect him

Once upon a time, you looked up to him or thought him an equal. Now? He's like dead weight.

If you can't respect your partner, there's no point in staying with him. He probably has already figured it out and is hurting from it.

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10. You've lost your attraction to him, totally

Why are you still with him again? Attraction is what all relationships are meant for.

11. People have straight up told you they're concerned for you

This is always a very bad sign, because most of the time, people don't want to start drama. If they're actually telling you to leave him, that's a very, very bad sign.


12. You often feel bad for just asking things to be mutual and egalitarian

Do you find yourself feeling like you're a bad person for asking him to pull his own weight? If things are so lopsided that you feel like you're being unreasonable for wanting a mutual partnership, it's a relationship that is toxic to you. You deserve a partner, not a leech.

13. You often wonder why you actually keep him around

It's not like he's doing much to make himself worth something in your life. Why bother keeping him?

14. You regularly fantasize about leaving

Guess what? You can leave and you will be just as happy as your fantasies suggest. It won't be easy at first, but it's going to be worth it in the end.


In order to get what you want in the relationship, you have to practically drag him to it while he's kicking and screaming. No, this is not acceptable.

If it gets to this point, it's time to disengage from him and start looking for someone who will give a sh*t about you. Why? Because it's clear he doesn't.

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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.