5 Signs Your Partner Is Using Facebook Or Instagram To Cheat On You

If any of this sounds familiar, it's time to turn off the screens and start up some real talk.

woman looking worried and holding her laptop in bed while man is asleep next to her Getty

Social media can be full of explosive minefields for people in a relationship.

When you share so much of your life with the world, you also open yourself and your partner up to some particularly dicey new questions.

Should you tag them in the new photo you can't wait to post? When should you change your relationship status on Facebook? Will you look too clingy if you like and/or comment on all of their posts on Instagram?


On top of that, being connected with one another on social media means you have some confusing gray areas to sort through.

In particular, it's becoming increasingly common to wonder whether or not the romantic partner in your life is lurking on other people's profiles. And if they are, are they just looking and being friendly, are they trying to pick them up, or are they actively cheating on you?

RELATED: 5 Questions To Ask Your Partner If You Think They Might Be Cheating


Because let's face it: Facebook and Instagram are awesome tools, not only for keeping in touch with people you already know, but also for meeting new people you can connect with — and that includes potential other people your partner might find desirable. Yikes!

Of course, before you go digging for the following signs of cheating via Facebook, Instagram, or other social media, do remember that it's best not to jump to conclusions right away.

If you notice any or all of the behaviors listed below, in addition to your gut telling you something isn't right, don't use them as ammunition to jump down their throat. Instead, use your observations as examples to start a conversation about and ask questions.

And if you don't get a straight answer? Well, that's your answer right there. You may want to go ahead and update your status to "single" immediately.


Here are 5 signs your partner is using Facebook, Instagram or other social media to cheat on you.

1. They won't accept your Facebook friend request or follow you back on Instagram.

Uh, what? If you're an official couple and you're not Facebook friends, that's a little weird, but not entirely bad. If both of you agreed to this from the very beginning, then it's fine.

But if you've been friend requesting them for months and they've blocked or ignored you, you need to ask yourself why you want to be with someone who can't grant you a simple request.

2. They can't put down their phone.

If they're on Facebook 24/7 and there isn't a work-related reason for it, it could be because they're more invested in the validation and attention they gets there than the validation and attention they get from (and gives back to) you. That's not healthy.

RELATED: What Your Social Media Habits Weirdly Reveal About Your Relationship


3. You connected on Facebook and Instagram, but you still can't see everything they post.

Facebook and Instagram privacy settings allow you to tailor your profile and what's visible, and to whom, for each of your posts. You can make everything you post either public or private, or you can set some posts to be available to only certain groups or a specific list of close friends.

For instance, you may have a list of best friends who can see everything, while your co-workers may be on a separate list that doesn't include things like keg stand photos from 2007.

If your partner has something to hide from you, you better believe that they're going to use these settings to their advantage.

It's also a bad sign if they don't have any photos of you together visible to their friends and they never accept any of your requests to tag them in pictures you post. They should be proud to show you off!


4. They're especially active on other people's posts.

If they like and/or comment on every single status update and photo posted by a particular non-celebrity on Facebook or Instagram, your eyebrows and antennae should go way up. This is especially true if they never like your posts or pictures.

5. They act shady whenever their computer is anywhere near you.

You shouldn't ask for their Facebook password or attempt to figure it out. It's their personal account and they're entitled to their privacy, as you are to yours.

But if you're sitting next to them and they immediately hide their phone, slam their laptop shut whenever you look their way, or stand somewhere that you might be able to see the screen, you have the right to start asking them some questions.


RELATED: The Best Sign Of A Healthy Relationship Is No Sign Of It On Facebook

Samantha Jayne is a dating coach and relationship expert and YourTango contributor.