Woman Explains Everything Her Pathological Ex Lied About To Warn Us About The Signs She Missed
TikToker ReesaTeesa's 50-part 'Who tf did I marry?' story is jaw-dropping, but psychologists say it could happen to any of us.
TikTok / Canva Pro A woman has had the internet slack-jawed for days with the sprawling, shocking story of how her pathological liar ex-husband was able to dupe her for years.
It's ultimately a cautionary tale and a warning of how easy it is to fall prey to the charms of a master of deception.
In a series of videos, TikToker ReesaTeesa shared the signs she missed that her ex was a pathological liar.
If you were anywhere near the internet in recent days, you probably heard about it: the sprawling, 50-video series titled "Who TF Did I Marry?" posted by TikToker ReesaTeesa.
The story is sprawling and shocking enough that all 50 parts — each 10 minutes long, for a total of more than eight hours of content — have gotten millions of views even in our days of tiny attention spans.
But psychologists say that at the core of stories like these is the human trait of trust that every single one of us shares.
ReesaTeesa and her ex, Legion, met on Hinge in March 2020, and the pandemic escalated their relationship very quickly.
Right from the start, you can see how crafty her ex, named Legion, really was. On the way to their first date, ReesaTeesa had a tire blowout — which she now feels was a "sign" she didn't listen to — and Legion swooped in like a knight in shining armor and saved the day, even paying for the repairs.
They continued on to their date, hit it off immediately, and just two weeks later, everything shut down due to COVID-19. They'd hit it off so well they decided to quarantine in her three-bedroom house because Legion lived in a studio apartment.
Once there, he paid for everything except her car payment and phone bill, and ReesaTeesa said she was touched by this because she'd never had a man take such good care of her.
In January 2021, Legion and ReesaTeesa got married and she immediately found out he was cheating.
The pace of their relationship kept escalating. Just a month after they met, ReesaTeesa got pregnant, so they decided to begin shopping for a house together. Over and over again, their attempts to buy a house would fall through for some reason that Legion would skillfully explain away.
But even as ReesaTeesa started to become suspicious, crises kept happening to keep her locked in. First, she suffered a miscarriage. Then, Legion suffered the deaths of multiple members of his large, very close-knit family.
By the end of 2020, they were engaged, and in January 2021, they got married.
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Weeks later, ReesaTeesa found out he was cheating with a sex worker. They entered counseling with their pastor, who immediately told ReesaTeesa that something was very off with Legion.
ReesaTeesa then discovered Legion was using a fake social security number and that's when his house of lies collapsed.
Shortly after their marriage, ReesaTeesa found a new job, which asked for a background check — not just on her, but on her husband as well. When her husband provided his social security number, she realized it was an entirely different number than he'd given on their marriage license.
She began researching the new social security number and discovered tons of discrepancies. He claimed he'd lived in California, but never had, and he'd lived in other places he'd never told her about.
Every single morning, Legion would have phone calls with members of his large, extended family. But when ReesaTeesa contacted his family she found that they'd been estranged for years because of his pathological lying. He'd been faking the phone calls every morning.
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His job as a VP at a condiment company was fake, too. He'd faked phone calls at work and forged emails from his supposed boss to keep ReesaTeesa convinced. It turns out he was actually a temp who drove a forklift.
All the financial records he'd used to buy a house had been forged too. And it worked until a dispute with the seller over basement repairs soured the deal.
Most crucially of all, ReesaTeesa found out Legion had an ex-wife he'd never told her about, and when she contacted her, the ex-wife basically had one thing to say about Legion: run.
Social media users have since tracked Legion down, who has taken to TikTok himself to say that everything ReesaTeesa has said is a lie.
ReesaTeesa blames herself for getting scammed, but psychologists say what happened to her can literally happen to anyone.
"I have severe PTSD," ReesaTeesa said in one of her videos, "and I know it's my fault. I know that I did not trust myself. I did not pay attention to the United Nations of red flags."
She said it all came down to one simple thing that allowed her to be taken in: "I was desperate. I wanted to be married. I wanted a family, and I thought it was my turn, and instead, I got pulled into something my brain could not even comprehend."
But psychologists say she shouldn't blame herself because this is precisely how scammers and con artists operate. They prey upon one of the most fundamental parts of the human brain. We all, every single one of us, innately want to trust each other.
Professor and researcher Monica T. Whitty, an expert on cybercrime and romance scams, explained in a 2013 paper published in the British Journal of Criminality that scammers, con artists, liars and the like simply leverage this trust to their advantage, and do so gradually with a steady drip-drip of lies in what Whitty called "a careful set of orchestrated stages to gain trust" that build one upon the other.
Crucially, Whitty said the higher the value of the thing the scammer is promising, the more likely the victim is to stick with them, even if they've begun to have doubts. You'd be hard-pressed to find something more valuable to almost anyone than the promise of true, everlasting love.
So if all of us are susceptible to this — and again, psychologists say that is the case, no matter how certain we may feel that we're too smart to get duped — what do we do? Psychologist Dr. Joni Johnston said it ultimately all comes down to one thing: Trust your gut and instincts.
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She insisted that when discrepancies arise or things don't add up, take them seriously and do not relent unless or until you get an answer that actually makes sense.
If the person can't provide one, the jig is up. Period. "Once that facade starts to slip," she wrote, "don't second guess yourself."
Even as far down the road of her ex-husband's scam as she got, ReesaTeesa thankfully did ultimately trust herself before it was truly too late, and it's incredibly brave of her to share her story so that others won't have to be victimized the way she was.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.