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Pregnant Woman Doesn't Want Her Husband In The Delivery Room Because Of The 'Disrespectful' Way He Handled It Last Time

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woman holding partner's hand while giving birth

A husband is being accused of being unsupportive during the birth of his first child after admitting that he's upset about her decision on who she wants in the delivery room for their second child.

Posting to Reddit, he claimed that his wife was acting "petty" over something he didn't deem serious, refusing to allow him in the delivery room because of the 'disrespectful' way he handled it the first time.

He explained that when his wife gave birth to their son two years ago, he was on his phone the entire time.

"I would leave [to] take calls while she was in labor," he recalled. "My wife and the nurses found it extremely disrespectful that I did that. I stated several times that I did it out of stress because I was worried about her and the baby."

Pregnant Woman Doesn't Want Her Husband In The Delivery RoomPhoto: A and N Photography  / Canva Pro

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After their son was born, his laissez-faire behavior continued, and she accused him of not doing anything to help out with their newborn and instead going straight back to work. The two of them ended up working through that disagreement, but he still refused to apologize because he claimed he was dealing with his own issues at the time.

Two years later, she told him that she didn't want him in the delivery room because of his past disrespectful behavior. He insisted that he didn't understand why his wife still wasn't "over it," and he argued with her several times that he was not missing the birth of his child no matter what.

"She still wouldn't budge," he added. "My friends are on my side but my parents are on my wife's side."

A majority of people agreed that he was being unreasonable and his wife had every right to ban him from the delivery room.

"Your role was to be supportive and you failed. Your behavior likely ruined the experience for your wife. She doesn’t want to go through that again," one Reddit user pointed out.

"You refuse to acknowledge or apologize for your behavior so you haven’t learned the lesson. Which means your wife will end up unsupported again. Your own parents don’t support you, that speaks volumes."

Another user added, "You ignored her, in her most vulnerable state, because YOU were scared? If that is not the most pathetic reason I have ever heard. The only person at a birth whose attendance is MANDATORY is the birthing mother. You have no rights to the delivery room and you are NOT a reliable support person."

"Childbirth can go wrong in a moment. She needed you to be present and her support person. Instead, you literally left her," a third user chimed in.

"You saying it’s a stupid reason shows you’re still not mature or supportive enough to be in the delivery room. She deserves to have someone who loves and supports her fully and commits to being present and that’s not you."

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The mom-to-be has full control over who is allowed in the delivery room. 

A woman is at her most vulnerable when she's giving birth, both physically and emotionally. The presence of a supportive partner or family member in the delivery room can make the biggest difference between the experience being overly traumatic or not. 

Birth is not a spectator event, and if a pregnant woman feels that someone is taking away from the empowering moment, then they have every right to forbid them from entering.

   

   

The husband's lack of understanding and remorse just further proves the point that he is not a reliable support for his wife during childbirth. If he truly wants to be there for the birth of his second child, he needs to realize that his behavior was unacceptable and must validate his wife's feelings of disappointment and abandonment, regardless of how much time has gone by.

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Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.