You Can Tell A Couple Is Not In A Good Place When They Stop Doing These 3 Things Before Bed
PeopleImages | Shutterstock The strength of a couple's marriage can be determined by the habits they share at bedtime. When a couple no longer prioritizes each other at bedtime, they are not in a good place. That end-of-the-day window when it's just the two of them can be a chance to reconnect and feel emotionally close, especially when both people have busy schedules during the day that don't allow time for a conversation or for time spent together.
When things are good between a couple, going to bed can feel peaceful and safe. But when things aren't good, it can start to feel awkward and distant between them. There are three specific behaviors that, when no longer prioritized, mean they are not in a good place.
You can tell a couple is not in a good place when they stop doing these 3 things before bed:
1. Putting the phone down
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Rather than scrolling mindlessly on a random social media app, married couples should be able to spend that time before bed connecting with each other. Couples can use that time to catch up on how their day went and share what's on their minds.
In fact, it's not good for your overall health to use screens too close to bedtime anyway. Studies have shown that any blue light before bed can have negative effects, such as trouble falling asleep and even just poor sleep quality.
2. Make each other smile
A small joke or relaying a funny story can make the biggest difference in a couple's longevity. A marriage usually fades a lot faster when there's no laughter shared between both people. Laughter is a form of emotional connection in any relationship. When partners no longer prioritize making each other smile, it can do more harm than good. Life gets exhausting as it is, but in the strongest of relationships, people make sure to have that familiar warmth and ease.
"Relationships thrive on such moments of shared joy. Laughter can be a strong social glue. When you and someone else laugh together, you’re 'syncing up' and likely feel like you’re on the same wavelength. This is how 'shared laughter' can benefit your relationships," explained psychologist Mark Travers.
3. Give each other a hug
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Couples should never underestimate the power of a hug right before going to bed. It gives both of you a sense of safety and can even help calm emotions down. It might seem like the smallest and most minuscule gesture, but physical affection can go such a long way for couples.
"Human touch activates our parasympathetic nervous system — this is the calm down system that slows your heart rate, lowers your blood pressure, reduces anxiety and stress, and lets the mind know 'you are safe, there is no tiger hunting you, relax and let go now,'" pointed out psychologist Cheryl Fraser.
When a couple just isn't in a good place at all, those hugs become less frequent, or it just feels awkward to reach out and embrace. But hugs, along with other forms of physical affection, are all about building trust and even strengthening the connection between you and your spouse.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
