Bride Devastated After Fiancé Reveals The Real Reason He Proposed To Her
Pheelings media | Shutterstock Right when she was in the middle of planning her wedding, a bride-to-be was left devastated by her fiancé after he revealed why he had really proposed. The devastated woman took to Mumsnet, a popular forum for adults in the U.K., and posted the story of how her engagement to her longtime partner flipped their relationship upside down.
Her fiancé claimed he never really wanted to propose to her. In what could only be described as cruel, he told her that he had nothing to be excited about when it came to their wedding because he felt forced into it.
The woman's fiancé revealed he only proposed because she nagged him into it.
She began her story by providing the context of her situation and the lead-up to her fiancé’s cruel remarks. "[My fiancé] and I got engaged last summer after being together for seven years. Booked a wedding venue in autumn for autumn 2022,” she explained. “We had different ideas about the wedding, he wanted something bigger and I wanted something smaller and we compromised on something in between."
She added that she was going through different stages of excitement — excited about a grand wedding, but most of all looking forward to being married because that was really important to her. However, as the big day loomed, the bride became concerned about family issues that could affect their wedding.
While discussing this with her partner, she also noticed something else troubling. "He didn't seem very excited about the wedding either, and he agreed," she wrote. "I asked him what he would change if we didn't have any deposits paid and he said he would cancel what we had booked and just have a long engagement and not think about a wedding until we both had a special day planned.”
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The bride suggested they skip the wedding and elope instead.
She wanted him to be happy about their upcoming nuptials, so she suggested a compromise. The only thing that really mattered to her was being married and starting their “married life,” and so she suggested that they should just go to the registry office and get married, but her fiancé started to act differently.
"He suddenly started being really cold and nasty,” she said, “and told me he only proposed to shut me up because I kept nagging him, he's sick of trying to make me happy and I have an empty, bottomless void inside me that means I'll always be miserable. He was so unpleasant."
The two continued to try to talk it out, and she said that he eventually admitted to acting cruelly and only saying the things he said “to be mean” after he felt like she intentionally approached the conversation with the plan to "railroad" him into a wedding without his family. "He didn't apologize once for being deliberately cruel, even after he admitted it. Even when I asked him to," she said, finishing her story and asking for advice.
Many people were supportive of her and took her feelings into consideration, and tried to find some sort of workaround. "Put it on hold while you evaluate. You haven't booked anywhere yet surely?" suggested one user. "Needs another chat though, this needs [to be] ironed out."
"If I were you, I would stop planning for a couple of months and see if after two months you are still keen to get married,” another user wrote. “At the end of the day, it's not unusual for couples who have been together for a good number of years to split up the year after they marry."
Planning a wedding is stressful, and it's not uncommon for couples to struggle during the engagement.
Over half of engaged couples, 52% to be precise, admitted in a 2023 survey that wedding planning was "stressful." Worse than that, 59% of couples in the same survey described the entire process as "overwhelming." It's certainly not a stretch to say that when it comes to those two descriptors, the wedding planning process can take its toll on a couple. Add in a sprinkle of family drama, like this bride-to-be said she was dealing with, and you've got a recipe for frayed nerves and even some cruel words.
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Of course, what he said should absolutely not be excused, and she undoubtedly deserves an apology, but the fact that he clarified to her that he didn't mean it holds weight.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Landis Bejar put engagement stress into simple terms for Brides, "It’s a life transition for everyone involved, and with life transitions come identity shifts and a sense of loss of who you were before.” Sounds exactly like what this woman's fiancé is going through. She went on to say, “Meanwhile, all this happens while everyone’s eyes are on you, you’re spending loads of money, and you’re expected to be the happiest you’ve ever been."
Hopefully, this bride-to-be doesn't make a rash decision under the stress of planning a wedding amid additional family drama. Spending time talking to her fiancé without heightened emotions should certainly help.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.
