If A Guy Says Any Of These 12 Phrases, 'Run Before You Even Knew How To Crawl'
“It’s not coming out of flattery — he actually means it.”
Keira Burton / Canva Pro If there’s a man in your life who you've developed a close relationship with, pay attention to the things he says to identify the kind of person he is. Women sadly often fall prey to the vindictive, manipulative red flags that some men try to frame as love, when they are actually quite the opposite.
One woman took to TikTok to share her insight on incompetent men and advise other women of the red flags to stay away from, based on her relationship experiences.
Sarah Bispy shared 12 phrases men frequently use that imply their toxic behavior which women should stay away from.
1. “You’re out of my league.”
If a man ever admits to being out of your league, he’s probably right. Men like to use this phrase as a compliment to flatter women, but it contrarily reveals their incompetence.
This phrase is a sign of insecurity, and this man is relying on you to validate him.
2. “I just don't want to hurt you.”
If a man is already predicting any chance of hurting you, there’s a likely chance that he will, if he hasn’t already. If he didn’t want to hurt you, he wouldn’t. Men like to use their words to excuse their actions, but actions are always louder than words.
3. “Think what you want.”
Some men unfortunately suffer from low emotional intelligence, which explains why they are unable to understand the thoughts and feelings of their partners. "Think what you want" is a common phrase you’ll hear when a man is in denial of acknowledging his wrongdoing, and potentially hiding something.
“He’s only saying that because he knows that he just got caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing,” Bispy revealed. “He’s trying to play a little mind trick and gaslight you.”
Men who use this phrase are unable to take accountability for their actions and will instead try to blame it on your flawed perception to make you feel like the crazy one.
4. “My exes are all crazy.”
While there are a fair share of "crazy" exes out there, if a man ever tells you his ex (or worse, all of his exes) are crazy, there’s a good chance he’s the one at fault.
According to Mint Lounge, men calling women crazy is a sign of “casual sexism,” and implies they do not respect or empathize with their needs. Men will resort to calling women crazy to dismiss and invalidate their feelings, so be cautious of the context behind why a man claims his exes are crazy.
5. “If we ever broke up, I would leave my future partner for you.”
While this may disguise itself as a compliment, it is a huge red flag and a sign of immaturity. To profess leaving a future partner to get back together with you is a bold statement and indicates a reckless and impulsive nature. It also represents a man’s inability to see past his present-minded thinking.
It’s immature to believe a man claiming he would leave another woman for you is a sign of his devotion to you. This phrase proves his disloyal nature in itself.
A man who does value and respect you wouldn’t make such unrealistic claims. Rather, he would do the work to build a future with you. Once again, actions speak louder than words.
6. “You deserve someone so much better than me.”
If a man admits this to you, it signifies his low self-esteem and unwillingness to change for the better — and he’s likely right. Your initial response to hearing this is to likely suggest otherwise, but all that does is persuade you to settle for less than what you deserve.
Insecure men love to use phrases like this and frame them as words of love and endearment, but all it does is expose their inadequacy.
7. “I dont think I'm good enough for you.”
When a man says this to you, it means he is not willing to step up to be good enough for you. Men usually use this phrase to cover up their insecurities. Take this as your sign to get away from a relationship that will only drag you down.
“He is telling on himself that he already knows that he is not good enough for you, and he’s probably going to do something to jeopardize the relationship,” Bispy explained.
If a man wanted to be good enough, he would do everything in his power to be. If he truly felt enamored by you, he would show his love to you in every way possible, and you would feel it.
8. “I don't even know what a narcissist is.”
If a man claims to not know what a narcissist is, this is a clear sign of denial — who doesn’t know what a narcissist is? He is lying through his teeth to conceal his narcissism.
He likely constantly tries to excuse and justify his behavior and actions, victimizing himself and denying any accountability. Recognize the signs of this form of manipulation.
9. “I've only cheated in my previous relationships because I've never loved a girl like you.”
First of all, if you’re dating a serial cheater, expect to be disappointed.
Even if he professes how your love is different, cheaters recycle the same poor excuses with every girl. If he cheated in previous relationships, there’s no denying he’ll cheat on you.
10. “I’ve never met someone like you before.”
This is a common phrase used among many relationships, with both positive and negative connotations, but the overall usage of the phrase is overused. If a man says this to you, you’re likely not the first woman to hear it from him.
If the context of this phrase is particularly used by a man attempting to brush off his toxic behavior by pointing out how special you are, this is a manipulative tactic to praise and love-bomb you into staying.
RELATED: 8 Types Of Toxic Relationships To Cut Out Of Your Life Now
11. “I can’t believe someone like you would be interested in someone like me.”
If you are constantly hearing a man remind you how amazed he is to be with someone like you, he is showering you with excessive praise to coerce you into staying with him, but it should have the opposite effect.
This is because he is not only aware of his incompetence, but he is openly admitting it to you repeatedly. Take this as a sign that you should not settle for someone who already views themselves beneath you.
12. “I need you in my life to make me a better person.”
This phrase is the worst of all — you should never keep a man in your life because he claims you help make him a better person. If a man ever says this to you, he is undeserving of your healing energy.
Women sadly tend to attract men who need healing, but it is not their job to save or fix them. All this will do is drain you of your pure energy. Keep these energy vampires far away from you, as they will contribute nothing but pain and misery to your life.
If you have heard any of these phrases before, Bispy strongly suggests "running."
It can be difficult to identify what constitutes toxic behavior and what are merely flaws that can be worked on, but one thing you can always identify is when a man is really putting in the work to be the best version of himself for you. If he uses any of these phrases on a regular basis, he is far from good for you.
It’s hard to walk away once you’ve already become emotionally invested and attached, which can lead to being trauma-bonded to someone. But once you are aware of the red flags, you need to look out for your mental well-being, even if it means walking away from someone you want to believe in. You know you deserve better, and you would likely find so much more peace of mind on your own.
It’s time women stand up against the outdated and worn-out phrases men use to disguise their incompetence. Evaluate how a man treats you and makes you feel, and if it’s anything other than unconditional love and support, don’t settle.
Francesca Duarte is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team based in Orlando, FL. She covers lifestyle, human-interest, and spirituality topics.