Woman Uninvites Pregnant Sister-In-Law From Thanksgiving Over Her List Of 'Unreasonable' Demands
Her brother claims that his wife "can't help how she feels during pregnancy" and accused his sister of ruining Thanksgiving.
Kamil Macniak | Shutterstock A woman’s Thanksgiving plans with her family were nearly derailed by her pregnant sister-in-law, who attempted to dictate what the guests could and could not eat or drink, and what time they had to sit down for dinner due to her pregnancy needs.
However, with the consideration of the rest of her guests, the woman decided it would be best if she uninvited her sister-in-law from Thanksgiving dinner. The soon-to-be mom and her husband claimed she was being “unfair” and “exclusive.”
Her sister-in-law demanded that there be no poultry, alcohol, or family games at Thanksgiving dinner.
Sharing her story to Reddit, the 33-year-old woman explained that she is hosting Thanksgiving dinner for her family this year. “It’s a pretty big gathering that normally involves my siblings, their partners, my sister’s kids, and our parents,” she wrote. “We have a traditional Thanksgiving meal, watch the parade, play games as a family, [and have a] couple [of] drinks together in the evening.”
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Part of the crowd includes the woman’s brother, James, and his wife, Becky, who are expecting their first child in the spring. Since Becky is pregnant, she decided that a few of the Thanksgiving traditions would have to be adjusted to accommodate her.
“Her rules were no poultry as the smell makes her sick, no alcohol as the smell makes her sick and she can’t join in, the food needs to be served early as she needs to nap during the time it’s normally served," the woman wrote. “She doesn’t want to play the games as she tires easily so can we just listen to music/talk in the evening instead.”
The woman tried to compromise with her sister-in-law, but it didn't work.
The woman admitted that she was “really upset” by Becky’s demands since they were unreasonable and would be difficult for all of the other guests to adhere to. “Firstly none of us are vegetarian and so I don’t really know how to prepare a turkey alternative,” she wrote. “I’d already ordered the turkey and it seems like a waste. And to not be able to drink, eat when we want to, or even play our games in the evening just feels so unreasonable when 9 of us won’t get to celebrate in the way we’d like to.”
While the woman was kind enough to tell Becky that she would be happy to make her a non-poultry dish and would ask other guests not to drink during dinner, she would not be canceling the family games just because Becky did not want to participate. “My niece and nephew are now old enough to join in and really loved it last year,” the woman added.
This seems more than accommodating; however, it was not enough for Becky and James. “Both James and Becky said I was being unreasonable and that she’s pregnant so I need to be more understanding,” the woman wrote. Even the woman’s mother believed that she should accommodate Becky’s strict demands, but she decided enough was enough. “I told Becky she was uninvited if she can’t accept any compromise whatsoever,” she wrote.
Later that day, James called the woman and criticized her for excluding Becky and ruining her Thanksgiving just because she “can’t help how she feels during pregnancy.” She explained, “I said I wasn’t excluding her and she’s welcome if she can accept that Thanksgiving has to work for everyone else too.”
Understandably, she does not want the disagreement over Thanksgiving traditions to cause a rift within their family, but at the same time, Becky should also work with her to come to an agreement where everyone is happy.
The woman's sister-in-law probably isn't trying to behave badly.
“If Becky wants a Thanksgiving organized exactly to specifications that are the exact opposite of yours, James or one of the other people insisting she needs to get whatever she wants because she’s pregnant can organize it for her,” one user commented. “I am currently pregnant and the smell of alcohol makes me sick too and I am overly tired. Not in a million years would I think that anyone apart from my partner should have to go out of their way to accommodate me,” another user shared.
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While these commenters make very good points, it's also important to remember that not all women have easy pregnancies, and some changes can be hard to adjust to. Extreme hormone changes and even mental health struggles can make an expecting woman feel isolated and alone, even if that was never the intention.
Others pointed out that while pregnancy may be difficult for some, it is not a disability that requires those who are pregnant to be accommodated. And while that's true, perhaps a better course of action would be for the woman to call Becky and have a real heart-to-heart. Maybe she is dealing with anxiety that no one else is aware of, and she is using her Thanksgiving demands as a way to control her emotions and environment. That doesn't make it right, but maybe if the two women talk it out, they can help each other.
For many people, Thanksgiving represents a time of reflection, appreciation, and the importance of coming together with loved ones. This includes demonstrating feelings of love, appreciation, and selflessness. Perhaps these two women, who are now family, even if only by marriage, can use this disagreement as an opportunity to get to know each other better and understand where each is coming from.
Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
