Why My Mother Told Me Never To Have Children

My mother insisted that raising kids wasn't in my future.

kid standing on basket in a flooded living room with goggles on Khosro via Canva | victorzastolskiy via Canva

I’ve never enjoyed the company of children.

My dislike of children began in Kindergarten, immediately after my first exposure to an entire room full of them.

I couldn’t quite put my finger on it when I was that young, but in the back of my mind, I knew having children of my own wasn’t in my future.

Getting married didn’t make me change my mind, not entirely.


However, my husband and I agreed we wouldn’t plan to have children, but we’d welcome them if they happened.

It was less about changing my mind and more about changing my circumstances. I was married now, and that’s what married people do.

I accepted that maybe, just maybe, there were children in my future after all.

I didn’t look forward to it, but I accepted my fate.

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My mother never faltered in her opinion that raising kids wasn’t the future for me, not even after I was married and bought a four-bedroom house.

"You’d hate to raise a family," she told me. "It’s so much work and so exhausting. You’re better off without kids."


I laughed, thinking she was joking. What mom doesn’t want to be a grandmother?

"No, really. I mean it," she said. "You’re too lazy to be a mother." 

She had a good point.

I thought about what she said for a long time after that night. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized she was right. I would hate to give up my freedom and independence to raise a family.

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And now, as a divorced adult, I’m grateful that she convinced me not to have kids.

Having children would have been an enormous responsibility, and I don’t think I would have been able to handle it.

Plus, now I’m free to work and pursue my career without having to worry about a family.


My mother did me a favor by convincing me not to have kids.

I can’t imagine how difficult it really is to raise a baby. A baby is a little human being who needs so much attention and care that only a loving, unselfish person can give.

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I am not unselfish.

A happy, healthy baby is a bundle of joy. Whether they came into the world by choice or chance, they are precious from the moment you first lay your eyes on them — or so they say.

I’ve never felt anything vaguely warm or maternal when looking at a newborn baby. Or a toddler. Or whatever comes next.


Then there's that special moment when a baby giggles or laughs for the first time at something only they find funny. The giggle makes everyone around them laugh and wonder when they will hear this joyous sound again.

Except me. I hate the sound of children’s laughter.

My mother was right: I am better off without kids.

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Tracey Folly is a writer who has been contributing lifestyle and relationship content to the Internet since 2009.