Research Says Women With This One Annoying Trait Raise The Most Successful Daughters
Here's how to make sure your daughter has a good head on her shoulders.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Being a good mom often means playing the bad cop. That includes shutting down the rebellion and the occasional (but often very necessary) nagging. Although nagging has gotten a negative rap — and is often used as a derogatory term against women — science has found that successful daughters are often the product of just that: a nagging mother.
There is one annoying mom trait that research says helps raise successful daughters.
A study from the University of Essex followed 15,500 girls between the ages of 13 and 14 from 2004 to 2010. The girls who had "tough" mothers who set the bar high were found more likely to attend college and earn higher wages. Researchers also found that girls with tough moms were less likely to become teen mothers.
Sure, your teen daughters might not love being nagged and held to strict rules, but subconsciously, according to the research, your daughters are absorbing those lessons and are influenced by them, even when rebelling against them.
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Nagging moms were also found to be less likely to have daughters who became teen moms.
The findings, presented at the Royal Economic Society conference, revealed that parents with high expectations can reduce a teenager’s chance of becoming pregnant by 4% compared to parents with "middling aspirations." Lead researchers then urged politicians and officials to try new ways to tackle the teen pregnancy epidemic by "increasing educational choices and expectations."
Teenagers who get pregnant are more likely to leave school early and earn less than others if they get jobs, the study found. They also face higher chances of forming relationships with "poorly educated and unemployment-prone men."
It added that despite falls in teenage pregnancy rates over the past four years, Britain still has the highest rate of adolescent motherhood in Europe. The same can be said regarding teen pregnancy statistics in the United States. According to Congressional data, teen birth rates reached their lowest historical rate in 2023, but the U.S. still has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy of all industrialized nations.
The idea that a nagging parent would be less likely to raise a daughter who became pregnant in her teen years makes sense when put into context with Planned Parenthood's advice for helping parents navigate the birds and the bees. Basically, according to the organization, parents who are willing to have difficult conversations with their kids about their bodies, pregnancy, and prevention are more likely to raise kids who don't have children in high school.
They wrote, "Your teen is going to make their own decisions when it comes to sex and pregnancy, but what you say to them really matters. Saying nothing just leaves them to figure things out on their own, or from their peers."
So yeah, the years of being labeled the 'uncool' mom may be annoying, but it does pay off.
According to study author Ericka Rascon-Ramirez, "In many cases, we succeeded in doing what we believed was more convenient for us, even when this was against our parents' will. But no matter how hard we tried to avoid our parents' recommendations, it is likely that they ended up influencing, in a more subtle manner, choices that we had considered extremely personal. What our parents expected about our school choices was, very likely, a major determinant of our decisions about conceiving a child or not during our teenage years."
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Ultimately, as Ester Bloom noted in an opinion piece for Medium, perhaps nagging isn't exactly the right word when used to describe the moms raising successful daughters, as evidenced by the research. Instead, we're really talking about a mom who has high expectations for her kids and pushes them to do their best to achieve. Does that make them naggy sometimes? Probably. But the main point is that they are encouraging. Always encouraging.
As Wendy Jessen wrote when reporting on the study for familytoday, "While we hope that teachers set high standards and can help positively motivate our children to succeed, most of a child's willingness and drive to work hard starts at home. If you value education and instill that in your children, they will know the importance of education and hard work. But, you also have to encourage and expect them to do well. Don't make excuses for your child when they drop the ball. Teach them to take responsibility for their own actions and help them learn from mistakes." She added, "Your child needs someone to not only believe in them, but to also push them toward success. So don't be afraid of a little motherly nagging now and then; you may be preparing her for a better future."
As difficult as it may be, try to keep this bit of info in mind as you battle it out through the terrible teens and find peace in two things: 1) Your kids will be full of gratitude in the future. 2) There’s some serious karma to be dealt out once they have children of their own.
Nicole Weaver is a senior writer for Showbiz Cheat Sheet whose work has been featured in New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, and more.
