Mom Asks If She Messed Up By Taking Money Out Of Her Son's Allowance After He Refused To Do Chores He Deemed 'Too Girly'
She refused to reward him for not completing his chores.
DimaBerlin / Shutterstock A mom was accused of "humiliating" her son after she punished him for not doing all of his chores properly.
Posting to Reddit, she revealed that her 12-year-old son refused to listen to her and complete all of his chores because of a comment that his friend made.
She took money out of his allowance after he refused to do chores he deemed 'too girly.'
In her Reddit post, she explained that her twin boys started doing chores around the house when they were eight years old and began getting allowances for them once they turned 10.
"Chores are only mandatory 5 days out of the week, I don’t care what time a day they choose to get them done. As long as they are done by the end of the day. I made it clear to my boys that once they started earning money, they would be getting 10 dollars a day for every day they complete their chore," she wrote.
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The punishment for not doing chores was to have the $10 deducted. She encouraged her sons to save enough of their allowance money so they could enjoy the weekends when they go to their dad's house and have enough spending money. The system worked for both her and her sons without any complaints or mishaps, and they always complied with doing their chores.
However, one of her 12-year-old sons began refusing to do his set of chores, which included sweeping the stairs and wiping down surfaces. For the first two days, he did them without an issue but when his friend asked him to play video games with him, and her son told him that he needed to finish his chores first, that's when the problem started.
"In response, my son’s friend said, 'It’s a good thing my parents don’t make me do girl chores.' I spoke with my son and explained to him that knowing how to clean was not specific to any gender. It was a life skill everyone needed to know," she recalled.
She also told her son that while everyone's family was different, in their household, all chores were divided equally among everyone. After speaking with her son, he still refused to do his chores, so she began taking $10 out of his allowance for each day that he didn't. He had only $20 to spend while his brother had $50.
Her son then became upset at the lack of money in his account, and he ended up calling his dad to vent about it. Her ex-husband called her and accused her of being wrong for only giving him $20 when his brother had a significant amount more than him.
"I explained to him that our other sons did their chores for all five days, so they were rewarded accordingly. And assured him that if he had decided to start giving the boys an allowance then he can run allowance however he wanted, but this was ultimately the system I had come up with. My ex-husband told me that I am being insensitive and humiliating our son," she concluded.
People agreed that she wasn't wrong in punishing her son for not doing the chores he was meant to do.
"If he had done his chores like he was supposed to, he would’ve gotten the full amount. Why should he be rewarded for doing nothing when his brothers did what was asked for their money? That wouldn’t be fair to them," one Reddit user pointed out.
Another user added, "You are teaching your sons valuable life skills. You work hard, you get rewarded. By paying the one son who did not do his chores, you will erase all the wonderful years of teaching you have done. I love your system-great job, Mom!"
"Your son saw an opportunity to brush aside his chores and took it. He is tripping if he thinks he gets to do no work and get exactly the same thing as those who did. It’s a valuable lesson for life. I’d say you're doing a good job so far," a third user agreed.
This mother laid out the rules rather simply for her children: Do your chores and you will receive an allowance to spend. However, her son refused them, and the consequences were fair. The comment made by his friend about the chores being "too girly," shouldn't have held any water, as cleaning is not designated to a certain gender.
The boy's mother did the right thing by setting the record straight that chores are neither "too girly" nor "too masculine." In adulthood, there are repercussions to not doing the required tasks that are asked of you, and parents need to prepare their children for that reality.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.