Mom Accuses Boyfriend Of ‘Limiting Opportunities’ For Their Kids By Refusing To Make Money Off Them On Social Media
She started posting more photos of their children on social media in the hopes that it would making them influencers.
U__Photo | Shutterstock There's nothing glamorous about children being internet famous, but one mom is adamant that her kids would be great in front of the camera, much to the anger of her partner. Posting to Reddit, a 24-year-old dad claimed that his girlfriend was doing everything she could to convince him to film content with their kids for social media because it would help them in the future.
The mom wanted to earn money from their kids' presence on social media.
"So I had my twins — boy and girl — when I was 17. Yeah, it was rough," he began in the since-deleted Reddit post. "Their mom, my girlfriend, still, and I stayed together, and we've made it work. We've got a good setup now. Decent jobs, rent's covered, kids are happy, school is going well. It's not perfect, but it's stable. That matters to me more than anything."
He explained that his girlfriend has recently gotten the idea in her head to become a mom influencer. She's started posting more pictures of their children and content revolving around them, like "Days in the Life." She's even started talking about creating a brand around their family where they'd be able to make money off the content that she's creating.
He admitted to her that he's just not comfortable with the idea of their kids even having a presence on social media, considering they're only 7 years old. He emphasized that he wants them to have a normal childhood away from screens and social media. When his girlfriend heard that, she accused him of being "controlling" and "limiting opportunities."
The boyfriend refuses to monetize their kids' faces.
"I didn't become a dad at 17 to raise kids to grow up on ring lights and comments sections. I didn't grind through diapers, sleep schedules, night shifts, and school drop-offs to hand them over to the internet," he continued, adding that he's now seriously considering ending things with her if she keeps insisting on it.
He certainly isn't alone in his thinking. In fact, most commenters were adamant about keeping kids out of the fame game, especially on social media. The top commenter noted, "I totally agree with you. Hold your ground. Your children can’t know the implications of what they are agreeing to even if their mom is trying to convince them it’s a fun idea. Monetising your kids? Hard no!"
He admitted that some of his friends have accused him of being too dramatic about the whole thing and that he's missing an opportunity to truly secure his children's future by making them social media stars. However, he strongly disagrees, pointing out that he is securing their future by ensuring they stay protected and young for as long as possible.
As another commenter explained, "Kids in family vlogs don't get to go home. They also can't consent to being filmed and are at the mercy of their parents, and they have no way to escape it. Kids have only one life, and to have it filmed and put out on the net is IMO child abuse."
It's damaging for kids to be on social media.
Most experts agree that less is more when it comes to kids and social media, both behind and in front of the camera. With countless stories of family influencing gone awry, like Ruby Franke, it's hard to find any positives to becoming a child internet star.
First and foremost, these kids are way too young to understand and consent to their private lives becoming public content, and while a family may go into it with the purest intentions, it doesn't always work out that way in the end. It's also very much the wild west in terms of legal protections, unlike the film and TV industry, which is much more regulated. However, even child actors seem to be cursed in terms of suffering later in life for the decision to forgo a normal childhood for fame at a young age.
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Research has shown that children are very sensitive people, and a child could end up feeling "embarrassed or uncomfortable" because of what their parents are posting about them, even in a general sense where they're just sharing content of their kids to close family and friends on a private social media account.
On a larger scale, such as influencing and content creation, this can have a profoundly negative impact on a child's self-esteem, confidence, and relationships with their parents and other family members. It can go even beyond that, however. It can actually stunt their normal development, specifically in their adolescent years.
In a piece written for Psychology Today, Ankita Guchait, MBPsS, a London-based Mental Health Practitioner, explained, "Adolescence is a critical stage for identity exploration. For children raised online, this process is stifled. When they are finally given the space to make mistakes or exist offline, they may realize they no longer know who they are — only who the algorithm wanted them to be: cute, funny, and obedient." Basically, instead of giving them more opportunities as this mom argued, a career as a kid-fluencer could actually set kids back in terms of maturation and inevitably put them years behind their peers.
At the end of the day, a parent's job is to protect their children. While it may seem appealing to want to become family content creators, it may not reap the benefits that a parent might think it will. Kids deserve to live their lives without cameras pointed in their faces and strangers commenting on them and their routines.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
