After Learning Future Daughter-In-Law’s Wedding Plans, Mom Refuses To Contribute Financially Unless Her Son Gets A Prenup
The bride wants an $80,000 wedding that they can't afford.
BearFotos | Shutterstock A concerned mom posted on Reddit after her future daughter-in-law went behind her fiancé's back to ask her to bankroll her $80,000 dream wedding. Her tactics were so manipulative that the mom told her son she wouldn't even consider contributing to the nuptials financially unless he signed a prenup. Unfortunately, said son seems to be blind to the fact that his future wife's behavior is a major red flag.
It's not news that weddings are expensive, but you can't have caviar on a Chef Boyardee budget. That's just reality. That doesn't mean you can't have a beautiful event, however. Getting into debt or trying to manipulate family members into paying for a lavish affair isn't the way to start a life together. The mom's advice to her son was sound. It's up to him to decide whether to take it.
After hearing her future daughter-in-law's wedding plans, mom told her son to get a prenup or she wouldn't contribute a dime to the event.
The mom explained that she retired as a senior vice president of a tech company and that her husband sold a very successful company he owned, so they're quite well off financially. They have a daughter and a son, and paid for both their kids' college degrees, including their master's, and the children are now professionally successful.
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The mom explained that even though they were willing to contribute, their daughter didn't ask them for money when she got married two years ago. The mom explained, "she had a court wedding followed by dinner at a restaurant with less than 25 people including us and groom's parents. She and my son in law paid for it. Asked for no help. My hubby and I gave them $25K as [a] wedding gift. They were buying a house at the time and we thought a cash gift would be helpful for them."
Fast forward to her son's engagement. The mom said, since her son, a doctor in his residency, and his fiancée, who is still paying off considerable student loan debt, didn't have the same resources as her daughter and husband, they thought gifting them an extravagant honeymoon might be the perfect way to contribute to their nuptials. She wrote, "My son was like, 'That's amazing, thank you, Mom and Dad, we would appreciate that a lot,' and dil-to-be sort of had a pursed lip expression and didn't say anything."
The daughter-in-law wants an extravagant wedding and went behind her fiancé's back to ask his mom to foot the bill.
The mom explained that during a recent weekend visit with her son and his fiancée, she took the opportunity to share the plans for their wedding. They involve a castle-like venue hotel with 250 people and a Vera Wang dress, which she has already picked out. The budget is around $80,000, not including the honeymoon.
Guess whose family can't afford to contribute to the event at all? Sadly, it seems like the bride-to-be cares more about the actual wedding than the marriage. That certainly explains why she "cornered" her future mother-in-law behind her fiancé's back and basically asked her to bankroll the event.
The mom wrote, "She started by asking me what I thought about her wedding ideas. I said, the ideas were nice but not sure if its affordable. She goes like, it would be affordable, if my husband and I can help. I was like, how so? She goes on to say, that my husband and I have certainly have the money to be able to pay for everything, the full 80K and then the honeymoon of course would be very nice. She adds, since we didnt have to spend any money on my daughter's wedding, we can hopefully put that also into my son's instead."
Mic drop ... This was bold to say the least. First, $80,000 is an enormous amount of money for a wedding. In 2024, the average wedding cost was around $33,000. This couple does not need $80k to have a beautiful wedding. To make matters worse, the mom said she told her future daughter-in-law that she would talk to her husband and get back to them. She told her, "you don't look like someone who needs her husband's permission to access money."
After talking things over, the parents agreed to address their concerns with their son and advise him to get a prenup.
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She wrote, "We had a private conversation with my son and shared what happened. He looked pretty sad and told us she has been asking him to make the request of us. And that he said no, as he knew it wasn't a right expectation. My husband asked point blank if he is getting a prenup and my son said no. I said considering that my future DIL went over my son's head to ask his mom for money, he would be stupid not to get one."
Needless to say, their son didn't like that response. He dug his heels in defending his fiancée. He went so far as to throw in the fact that his own parents didn't have one, so why should he? The parents responded that they were not going to pay for the honeymoon anymore. That was out of the question. However, if the son decided to get a prenup before the wedding, they would pay $25,000 toward the wedding.
Even though the parents had good intentions with the prenup idea, the son is now quite upset. He believes they’re changing their perspective on the daughter-in-law because of one situation. But to be fair, the parents have a valid point. Getting a prenup is not bad and can bring financial clarity within the relationship. In fact, if drawn up fairly, a prenup protects both parties.
It's understandable why the son is upset. He's wearing the rose-colored glasses of love. Right now, he just wants everyone to get along and everything to be okay, but the fact that he didn't ask his parents for the 80 grand proves that he knows something is not quite right. Hopefully, his parents' ultimatum will make him do some soul-searching and, at the very least, talk to a lawyer for some outside advice.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
