New Mom Kicks Mother-In-Law Out Of The Delivery Room After Overhearing Her Call The Baby Her 'Second Chance'
She thought her mother-in-law was overstepping with that comment.
Natalia Deriabina | Shutterstock A new mom admitted that she was less than impressed after hearing the first words that her mother-in-law spoke to her baby after having given birth. In the ever-growing list of in-law drama that always seems to ramp up once grandchildren are born, a new mom confessed to kicking her mother-in-law out of the delivery room in a Reddit post.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmIOverreacting," the 29-year-old mom claimed that she was infuriated after she overheard her mother-in-law call her grandbaby her "second chance." Oops ... Even if she was thinking it, she probably shouldn't have said it.
A new mom kicked her mother-in-law out of the delivery room after she said the baby was her 'second chance.'
"I gave birth to my first child last week. It was a rough labor and I ended up needing an emergency C-section. While I was still in recovery, my husband let his mom come to the hospital room to meet our son," she began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that she was quite groggy and coming in and out of sleep when her mother-in-law finally arrived to see the baby. Despite being groggy, she remembered this very clearly. Her mother-in-law came into the room and immediately went to pick up the baby, stared at him for a while, and said, "You're my second chance. I won't screw it up this time."
Her husband didn't hear his mother say this, so when she asked her what she meant by that, her mother-in-law explained that her new grandson was a chance to be a better mom than she was with her son. She claimed that she now "gets to do it right."
The new mom was 'sent over the edge' by her mother-in-law's words.
"I told her this was not her second chance, this was my baby, and she needed to leave," she continued. "She tried to say she meant it 'spiritually' but I doubled down and asked the nurse to escort her out."
Now, the entire family is up in arms. Her mother-in-law has been crying to everyone who will listen that she was "banned from her grandchild's birth," and accused her daughter-in-law of being "unstable" for doing so. Despite what his mother has been saying, her husband understands why she's upset, but also thinks she should've just ignored the comment that his mom made and waited until they were all home to start setting boundaries.
As one commenter pointed out, however, this new mom had no obligation to try to keep the peace during a time that was incredibly emotionally vulnerable and personal. She wrote, "You just had major surgery. She had no reason to be there except to take care of and/or comfort you. I would be so angry if my MIL had said anything like that. He is not her second chance at raising her child. He is her chance to be a good grandmother."
If this grandma wants a second chance at motherhood, perhaps she should work on mending her relationship with her son.
While her husband may have made a reasonable point by insisting that setting boundaries could've waited, it doesn't change what his mom's reaction would've been. Whether she spoke up at the hospital or a week later when they were all home, it's clear that his mom just isn't ready to face the truth that the only true second chance at motherhood is to repair her relationship with her own children.
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The one thing this new mom's husband was right about, however, was the fact that they both need to be active participants in setting boundaries with in-laws. Psychologist Mert Şeker told marriage.com, "It’s important to discuss boundaries with your spouse concerning your mother-in-law to fortify your relationship and foster a healthy family dynamic. Open communication allows you to express expectations and limits, aiding mutual understanding and compromise. Such discussions support solidarity and collaborative problem-solving, clarifying boundaries with your mother-in-law and contributing to a healthier family environment."
Outside of that, however, this mom did nothing wrong. One commenter summed things up simply, "Honestly, seeing ANY child as a chance at a do-over is completely deranged and people should NOT be normalizing this viewpoint. Is the original kid still alive? How about doing better for THAT kid? There's your second chance. Ultimately, there's really only one metric for being a good parent: people who have good parents have good relationships with their parents."
There is no "second chance." Her role is to be a grandparent, not a parent. The baby already has two loving parents who will be taking care of him and raising him.
Her only job is to show up when help is needed and she's asked for her support. This new mom isn't overreacting in the slightest for putting her foot down when it comes to her child. Unfortunately, this experience is not abnormal. Many grandparents feel this sense of entitlement over their grandchildren the second they are born. It doesn't give them the right to overstep. Instead of trying to be a better parent, this mother-in-law should strive to be the best grandparent, no more, no less.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
