27-Year-Old Mom Of 4 Admits She'd Never Have Had Kids If She'd Waited To Start Her Family
AYO Production | Shutterstock Nowadays, it’s not unusual to hear people who chose to have families admit they regret it. That’s exactly how one woman felt when she took to Reddit’s r/confession forum to share her true feelings about becoming a mom when she was very young.
Since the dawn of time, having kids has really just been the expectation that’s been placed on people, especially women. Everyone thinks you should get married and start a family once you’re an adult, so you do. This line of thinking doesn’t really leave room for the fact that some people just don’t want kids and aren’t suited to have them, though.
A 27-year-old mom said she probably would have never had them if she had waited to start her family.
“I have four kids, and all four of them I had before the age of 25,” she shared. “The first two were accidental teen pregnancies, and then the last two were planned in my 20s. All kids with the same dad, who’s my now-husband. We’re well-off financially, both have well-paying jobs, a house, supportive families, and our relationship is great.”
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She said that her family is probably living in the “best case scenario,” but that doesn’t stop her from looking back and wondering, “What if?” She continued, “And I love my kids. I do. Would die for them any day. I like my life. I love my family. And still, I know that if I hadn’t had kids so young, then I would’ve made the choice to not have kids at all.”
“I know people have discussions about the ‘brain developed by 25’ thing, and that it’s actually more into your 30s, but as a 27-year-old, I now know myself enough to know that I would’ve been happy not ever being a mum,” she said. “Having multiple kids was everything that teenage me and early-20s me wanted, but mid/late-20s me has completely different thoughts on kids and motherhood.”
There is some disagreement surrounding when the brain is actually fully developed.
As for this mom’s mention of the brain possibly being fully developed at 25, there are some disputes among experts. A study published in the journal Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment stated that the prefrontal cortex is fully developed when someone reaches the age of 25. However, in another study published in Nature Communications, researchers said that “adolescent topological development extends to around 32-years-old.”
It would seem that, whether the brain is fully developed at 25 or 32, this woman had all of her children before then. Of course, she certainly wouldn’t be the first mom to have kids at a young age.
The Cleveland Clinic noted that “peak reproductive years” fall between a woman’s late teens and early-20s. That doesn’t mean that’s the best time to have a baby, though.
Ultimately, the perfect age to have children doesn’t exist.
“That said, it’s not always ideal to get pregnant as early as possible,” the Cleveland Clinic added. “Depending on where you are with your mental and physical health, finances, career, and other life goals, you may want to hold off from having a baby until the time is right for you — and that’s more than OK. The timing of having children is unique to each and every parent.”
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Really, there is no magical time when you can count on it being right to have kids. We all continue growing and changing, even after our brains have reached full development.
It’s more likely that you can just hold two different beliefs at two different times in your life. This makes the decision to have kids sound incredibly complicated, so you really have to be sure you’re ready before you proceed.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
