Kids Raised By Really Good Parents Usually Carry 5 Memories Into Adulthood
Werner Pfennig | Pexels Creating memories for kids doesn't have to involve extravagant vacations or experiences.
What your kids will remember the most are the little things. And according to family psychotherapist Carol Kim, children carry these core memories into adulthood, forever remembering how important they felt.
When kids have good parents, they carry these core memories into adulthood:
1. Quality time together
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Children are going to remember how much time you spent with them well into their adulthood. They're not going to remember over-the-top birthday parties or expensive toys. Instead, they're going to think about getting ice cream together after school or watching a movie on the couch.
"Taking some time to focus only on your child is very special," Kim explained. "Playing games, reading books, or just talking can create strong, happy memories. These moments show your child that you are present with them."
In fact, as a 2023 study found, children who have more quality time with their parents have higher self-esteem and self-worth. Their parents ensured that time spent with them is valuable, so they feel more valuable.
While parents can't spend every waking moment with their children, setting aside just 30 minutes after work to play outside or just talk will be the moments they will remember for a lifetime.
2. Words of encouragement
If they're feeling tired during a soccer game or having a hard time focusing while studying for school, kids really just need encouragement. Parents encouraging their child to keep it up and reminding them they're doing a great job are incredibly motivating.
"Kids often seek approval from their parents, and your positive words can be a strong motivator and source of comfort," Kim revealed. "Knowing you support them no matter what makes them feel strong and able to grow, helping them understand they can get better with effort."
There's nothing quite like a "You can do it!" from mom or dad. And when parents tell their children just how much they believe in them, they carry that feeling with them into adulthood and beyond.
3. Family traditions
There are many ways parents can create cherished traditions with their kids. As Kim pointed out, "These rituals, like holiday celebrations, weekend routines, or annual trips, give structure and something to look forward to, strengthening family bonds."
Some of the best memories come from family traditions. Kids will always want to talk about their special Saturday morning breakfasts together or going to the beach every year for vacation.
Starting traditions where you and your children spend time together as a family can give them a sense of belonging and stability. Plus, it creates lots of good memories to look back on when they're older.
4. Acts of kindness
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Parents are their child's biggest fan and should be someone they look up to. So, it's important to demonstrate good behavior that they learn from.
Random acts of kindness, such as bringing food over for a sick neighbor or letting a customer in line go ahead of you, can shape the future behavior of your children. And when we extend kindness to others, our brains release oxytocin, which enhances our mood and overall well-being.
"Seeing and doing kind things leaves a strong impression on children. It shows them the importance of being kind and caring," Kim explained. "They remember how good it feels to help others and to see their parents helping too."
Most of us will never forget the first time we donated to charity or lent one of our hungry classmates some of our lunch. Those memories have stuck with us, just like these small examples of kindness stay with kids forever.
5. Comfort during tough times
Most of us remember the first time we lost a sports game or were bullied by a classmate. While the initial sinking feeling of embarrassment isn't our best memory, we likely also remember who the first person to give us a hug and comfort us was.
"Supporting your child when they're sick, scared, or upset is very important because these are the times they need you the most," Kim said. "Your presence and reassurance during these moments leave a lasting impact."
Children need to learn that expressing emotions, even if they may be distressing, is healthy and beneficial for them. Because when your children are experiencing rough times, they remember who allowed them the space to vent and gave them a shoulder to cry on.
Contrary to what some parents may believe, offering comfort to your child does not reinforce bad behavior. It reminds them that you love them and will be their rock when they are navigating challenges.
And though no parent is perfect, and their kids don't expect them to be, by creating beautiful core memories that sparked some magic, they can always think of that.
Megan Quinn is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle, relationships, and parenting topics, as well as the human experience.
