Man Asks If He's Wrong For Arguing With Wife Who 'Embarrassed Him' By Not Cleaning Before He Had Friends Over

She's a stay-at-home mom, not a stay-at-home maid!

man sitting on a couch in a messy room Elnur / Shutterstock.Com

A 36-year-old man took to Reddit to describe a day when came home from work with some friends from the office only to find his home in complete disarray. According to his post, his wife was nowhere to be found and his three kids were running amok and causing the mess.

The man immediately confronted his wife — but was left feeling a little unsure about how he handled the situation.

The man’s opening paragraph gave a little context on his situation with his wife and kids, saying, “My wife does her best to keep up with the cleaning and keeping the house tidy and I feel for her, I really do so I told her she doesn't have to clean up all the time since the kids are running up and down all day and making huge messes. I did tell her that she only has to make sure the house is clean when we have guests over and she agreed with me.”


According to the man, his wife breached this verbal agreement when he arrived home after work with a few coworkers in tow.

“When I opened the door all I could see was an utter mess, food and toys and clutter everywhere,” he continued. “I was shocked I was embarrassed and just mortified that my friends saw my home looking like this.”

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He continued to say that some of those people were hanging out at his place for the first time and that his friends also made indirect comments about the state of his home. After they left, he found his wife — whom he seemed not to care about until his friends were gone — and found her sleeping before waking her up and confronting her about the state of the house.


“I woke her up to ask why she didn't tidy up the house knowing I was going to bring friends over,” he wrote. “She said she didn't know but I sent her a text letting her know and she said she didn't see it.”

He went on, talking about how embarrassing it was and how it was her fault for not keeping the house in check and clean while he was at work. She argued that it was the kids’ fault for making the house dirty and that he should have double-checked with her to make sure that she knew.

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Most people called the man out for expecting his wife to have everything spotless.

The rest of Reddit, however, sees a much bigger problem than all of these arguments.


“YTA. You basically sprung this upon her, didn't check to see if she happened to see the one (1) text where you just casually decided to spontaneously bring home people that day, and showed literally zero care that she wasn't feeling well,” said the top comment.

Another added, “SAHM stands for stay-at-home mom, not stay-at-home maid. Her priority is the children. Not to be on call to make the house look unrealistically tidy in an hour's time.”

The fact that this man came home and didn’t check to see if his wife was all right in the first place was the first red flag — finding her hearing that she’s sick but continuing to neglect her and tell her he’s embarrassed only makes things worse.

The children and the house are also his as well, and he should be shouldering those responsibilities, regardless of him being a working man or not. Sadly, research has shown that husbands create up to seven hours more of housework for their wives instead of taking on some of the work themselves. This instance is a perfect example, considering the husband expected his wife to clean the house with one hour's notice, completely disregarding anything else she may have planned to do that day.


Being a stay-at-home mom is anything but easy, and should be respected as any other job. 

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Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.