Man Drops Out As Brother's Best Man After The Bride Said His Wife Would Be In A 'Second Venue' With A Babysitter

She claimed it was the best way for him to enjoy the wedding.

Last updated on Mar 14, 2024

bride and groom at sweetheart table during wedding Steve Ikeguchi / Shutterstock

A family was left divided after a man dropped out of his brother’s wedding as best man just two days before the ceremony.

The best man claimed that his brother and future sister-in-law were unfairly treating his wife — but now he's wondering if he should have performed his best man duties anyway after receiving messages from upset family members. 

The man claimed that his brother's bride expected his disabled wife to sit in a separate venue with a babysitter during the reception.

Sharing his story on Reddit, the man began his post by revealing that he had agreed to be his brother's best man. His brother's wedding was for guests ages 12 and up, but the couple had set up a babysitter nearby so that those with younger children could attend. 


However, the man was surprised to learn from his sister-in-law at the rehearsal dinner just two days before the wedding that she and her brother had intended the babysitter to be there for his wife as well. 

RELATED: Groom Forced To Choose Between Inviting His Brother Or Having Decorations At His Wedding Due To Brother's Unusual Eating Habits


“My wife has some injuries that make her slow to respond/understand what others are saying, and she needs help sometimes with her food, I'll cut it up into small pieces,” he wrote. “This doesn't mean she's nothing and she's a smart, capable woman.”

Unsurprisingly, the man was shocked that his brother and sister-in-law expected his wife to be left with children and a babysitter. 

“SIL [sister-in-law] said it's not like that and they're just looking out for my wife, so I don't have to ‘feed her or anything’ and can 'have fun at the wedding,'” he wrote, but his brother agreed with the bride, leaving the best man to give them an ultimatum. “I told him if this is the way they're treating my wife, I have no desire to be part of their [wedding] and dropped out as best man,” he explained.

People accused the bride and groom of "ableism and infantilizing" the best man's wife.

Couples often hire babysitters so parents and guests have the opportunity to relax at weddings, free of disruptive kids and unburdened by having to keep track of them. However, someone's adult wife is far from disruptive or burdensom.


Unfortunately, people with disabilities are often looked down upon and treated as children because of their differences. While many times it's not done out of malice, a few people in the comments pointed out that the way this couple assumed their best man would have a better time without her there was telling of how they thought of her.

"Hate how some people act like the able bodied are doing some sort of charity case to the disabled partner," one person wrote of the bride and groom.

RELATED: Mom Brings Baby To Childfree Wedding After Refusing To Leave Him With Family Babysitter

“They made themselves look bad and they deserve to have their nasty messages sent to the rest of the family,” another user pointed out. “Good job on protecting your wife OP [original poster]. You are a good man and you don't deserve the criticism you are receiving.” 


People with disabilites deserve to be treated with respect and dignity just like anyone else — especially by family.



"You are an example of a husband who believes in his wedding vows," one person concluded.

RELATED: Absent Father Walks Out Of Son's Wedding After Being Excluded From Speech


Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.