If Your Daughter Has These 10 Things In Her Home She's Lonelier Than You Realize
morrowlight / Shutterstock While childhood loneliness is often a predictor of mental health struggles later in life, it’s entirely possible for an adult child to cultivate social isolation and loneliness after leaving their parents' home. From facing career struggles to navigating relationships without parental guidance to dealing with the financial stress that often comes with young adulthood, there are many things that can make adults feel alone, even when surrounded by others.
For parents, noticing the red flags of loneliness in their adult kids can be difficult, especially when there’s emotional or physical distance between them. However, if your daughter has these specific things in her home, she’s lonelier than you realize.
If your daughter has these 10 things in her home she’s lonelier than you realize
1. A podcast playing in the background at all times
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Even if you’re only connecting with your adult daughter on FaceTime or by phone, if she always has the TV or a podcast playing in the background, that could be a sign that she’s lonely.
While using background TV as a coping mechanism is most common among people who are getting older, according to a study published in The Gerontologist, it’s not surprising that young adults today are relying on these distractions while facing a loneliness epidemic. Especially with their connection to and reliance on screen time for comfort, if you notice these things in your daughter’s home, she might be lonelier than you realize.
2. Her lights stay on at night
If you notice your daughter is sleeping with the lights on at home, she may be lonelier than you realize. While having background noise and lights on can help to make people feel less alone in the moment, there’s nuance to these misguided coping strategies.
While it might seem harmless for coping with hypervigilance or loneliness, a study from the American Journal of Epidemiology argues that artificial light, even in low levels, at night, can sometimes increase a person’s risk for depression. So, it’s important for these women to address the root causes of their loneliness before trying to get crafty with coping strategies, because the latter could be doing more harm than good.
3. She has a co-dependent pet
If your adult daughter gets a pet or spends most of her time in a co-dependent relationship with her dog at home, there’s a chance she’s lonelier than you realize.
Luckily, as a study published in the Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology journal explains, getting a pet can help people become more social and serve as a healthy coping strategy for dealing with social isolation. So, even if she’s always talking to her dog or bringing her pet with her everywhere, there’s a chance she’s taking the right steps to mend her loneliness.
4. There are take-out containers in her kitchen
Of course, a balance of meals and food options is best, but if you notice that your daughter’s kitchen is almost entirely made up of take-out containers and fast food, there’s a chance she might be lonelier than you realize.
Whether these meals are a form of comfort, intended to help cope with the symptoms of loneliness, or a means of avoiding social interaction and self-isolating, the nutritional value and freshness that tends to be lacking in these meals can cause more problems than is necessary.
5. Her calendar is bare
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Especially for women, signs and symptoms of loneliness can often grow right underneath a person’s nose, going undetected until they become impossible to ignore. As psychiatry professor Aaron P. Brinen explains, “You see this with depression, anxiety, and even things like psychosis – these things creep in. Loneliness doesn’t happen like a strike of lightning. It creeps in like black mold.”
If a woman’s calendar is bare and she doesn’t have many recurring social commitments, that’s not necessarily a sign of loneliness in itself. But if she’s regularly missing out on interactions with others and spending most of her time alone, those things could feed into a larger problem of isolation.
6. She has a million online shopping packages
Especially for women, who are often targeted by advertisements and online shopping pressures, buying things can often feel like a natural way to cope with loneliness at home. They already have the accessibility of online shopping to lean on, even if it puts their mental health and bank accounts at risk. So, if you notice your daughter has a million online shopping packages in her home, she may be lonelier than you realize.
Another study published in the Psychology & Marketing Journal found that, in addition to online shopping, consumers may be more likely to develop an emotional relationship with their material possessions and struggle to get rid of them. They’re bringing in a lot of visual clutter and “stuff” into their homes, but the chances that buying things will lower loneliness are low.
7. Her home is spotless
Mental health struggles and loneliness can affect different people in unique ways. For some, the executive functioning struggles that come from experiences like depression can make it harder to stay on task with household labor, while for others, cleaning is a means of distracting themselves from experiences like loneliness or isolation.
So, if you notice that your daughter’s home always seems spotless, and she rarely has guests or friends around to mess up her space, she may be lonelier than you realize.
8. She has every streaming subscription imaginable
According to a study published in PLOS One, binge-watching television and movies at home is most commonly associated with the lifestyles of people dealing with loneliness. While it’s not always a problem, or at the very least, making their isolation worse, if it becomes a coping skill for suppressing discomfort and avoiding social interaction, it can do more harm than good.
Being invested in another person’s life, even if they’re fictional on television, can provide them with a bit of respite from their own lives and problems, so it’s no surprise that lonely people rely on mindless entertainment for comfort.
9. It’s clear she’s bringing her work home
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Despite being well-connected, “important” at work, and socially busy, it’s not uncommon for women to still grapple with loneliness. If their schedule is “too full” or they’re overextended by their obligations, there’s a chance the chronic stress they’re facing is actually exacerbating their loneliness.
Especially if they’re bringing work home, managing high levels of stress, and trying to balance a million things all at once, there’s a chance their loneliness is even harder to notice. They’re feeling alone, even while surrounded by a million people and responsibilities.
10. She has a comfort-forward home
It’s a stretch to assume that having safe spaces and comfortable nooks in a person’s home immediately means someone’s struggling with mental health or loneliness. However, there’s a reason why social isolation and loneliness are overlooked in women, especially young women, compared to their male counterparts in today’s culture. They internalize the feelings and cope with them almost entirely alone, while men are more likely to externalize their struggles with loneliness depending on their coping mechanism of choice.
So, if you notice your daughter is spending more time at home, leaning into the comfort of her space and coping with struggles by going inward and becoming avoidant, she may be more lonely than you realize.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
