Grandma Ignores Daughter's Request To Keep Pit Bull Away From Her Toddler – 'She's Not Respecting Me As A Mother'
“I said this was non-negotiable, as I have severe trust issues with dogs, especially if I am not physically present.”
SeventyFour / Shutterstock.com Grandparents helping with childcare can be a huge support for parents as well as an important asset in the growth and development of children. But like with everything in life, helping can come at a cost, especially when parents and grandparents butt heads about who knows best.
It’s the exact situation a mom on Reddit explained. Her toddler’s grandmother refused to follow her “non-negotiable” request to distance her pit bull from her child. Despite promising that she’d respect her request, the mom later found out that she’d completely disregarded it and let the dog not only hang out with her toddler but sleep in their bed.
A grandma ‘ignored’ her daughter’s request to keep her pit bull away from her toddler while babysitting.
“I truly have never understood why grandparents tend to have such an issue respecting parents’ boundaries,” family creator @blendedshook shared on the subject. "I’m not talking about sneaking them a candy or a soda because those are the rights of a grandparent, in my opinion… Those bigger boundaries they refuse to respect… Just remember and be mindful that you already had a chance to raise children. These are not your children.”
With a history of trauma related to dogs and a general first-time parent fear for her toddler, the mom said she told her parents to remove their pit bull during solo babysitting visits. “My parents have had one day/overnight visits roughly once a month with my child, to give us a night for dates/catching up with chores, etc,” she wrote.
“When we first started allowing these solo visits, I was assured that my parents would keep their pit bull away from our toddler, either caged, outdoors, in another room, etc. I said this was a NON-negotiable.”
After reminding her mom that the pit bull was a ‘non-negotiable’ around her toddler during babysitting trips, grandma posted a photo of them together.
“My mom has let it slip that their dog has been within sniff/touch distance of our toddler. There have been pictures posted on Facebook of them together, interacting. I was [expletive] and told her that he will not be coming over alone anymore if she cannot respect my wishes.”
Despite arguing that the mom was being “overdramatic,” the grandma “promised” it wouldn’t happen again. “[She said] there’s nothing to worry about, he’s a sweet dog… this was about a month ago.”
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Within the next few months, however, her trust was broken after her mother let their pit bull sleep with the toddler. While some might argue that’s evidence for their perfectly safe companionship, others supported the mom, saying she shouldn’t need to justify her wishes to her mother when it comes to her child.
Of course, it’s so nice and freeing to have family members able to babysit every once in a while, but it was also clear this mother had no problem looking elsewhere if her parenting requests weren’t being respected.
Once she learned that her toddler slept in bed with the pit bull, she immediately left — ‘She’s not respecting me as a mother.’
“During the pickup last weekend, she informed me that MY SON AND THE DOG SLEPT IN THE SAME BED. I took my kid home right then and there and haven't spoken to her since.”
Despite several conversations, she said it’s now “obvious” that her mother will never respect her wishes as a parent.“Given they’re quite literally our only support system here, I’m at a loss… I don’t want to cut her off completely, but I feel like she’s not respecting me as a mother by undermining my fears.”
Of course, commenters had opinions on both sides of the aisle. Some said the grandma shouldn’t need to alter her life, especially if there were no true safety concerns, and others argued that a mom's wishes should be respected no matter what.
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Especially for parents expecting or relying on grandparents to babysit their children, at what point do “boundaries” become too ridiculous to follow? How much of their personal life can you encroach on in the name of “protecting” your children?
The pit bull is clearly a huge part of this grandma’s life. Is she required to confine him in his own home purely because of her daughter’s opinion of his safety?
Is it truly a matter of “respect,” as the mom argued, or is it a larger discussion the pair needs to have about fears and how she wants her toddler parented?
Family dynamics and situations like this can be difficult to address. Sometimes, a sense of resentment, distrust, or even a misunderstanding can fester to the point of harming a relationship.
If you’re a parent, a babysitter, or even a grandparent facing a similar situation, never underestimate the value of good communication. It might just save you from having a blowout argument or tarnishing a loving relationship with resentment.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a News & Entertainment Writer at YourTango who focuses on health & wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.