Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be A Good Mom
Sergey Toronto / Shutterstock What makes someone a good mom has never been a one-size-fits-all definition. Motherhood looks very different depending on many factors, including the era in which mothers raise their children.
Mothers from the baby boomer generation didn't have to navigate technology and screen time the way parents do now, while Gen Z moms are having kids later than women of other generations did. There's no solid right or wrong when it comes to being a mom, but that doesn't mean people from each generation don't have strong opinions about the matter.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and boomers all have different ideas of what it means to be a good mom.
For many baby boomers, being a good mom means doing what needs to be done without making a big production out of it.
They cooked meals, cleaned the house, made sure everyone had what they needed, and kept going even when they were exhausted, all without complaining or whining. They did all of this while many worked hard to start carving out careers and fighting for equal rights for women.
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If their kids were safe, dressed, fed, and reasonably well-behaved, it was safe to assume they were doing something right.
The idea of mothers needing personal fulfillment or occasional validation was just becoming important to them, because prior to their generation, a woman's main role in life was to raise children and take care of their families.
Gen X thinks being a good mom means letting your kids figure things out on their own.
This generation often tries to strike the middle ground between the hands-off parenting they grew up with and the much more involved style they see today. Many of them remember being told to go outside and just come home when it got dark, so they aren't necessarily interested in hovering over every single thing their children do.
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They love their kids, obviously, but they also want them to develop some independence. At the same time, Gen X moms have seen enough to know that kids will be kids isn't an excuse to ignore every problem.
They're more comfortable talking about emotions and mental health than previous generations, but that's still not a reason to let bad behavior slide. Their version of being a good mom includes giving their kids some freedom while also encouraging them to call if things go sideways.
To millennials, a good mom is one who is emotionally present.
Millennial moms grew up during a shift toward openly talking about emotions and childhood experiences, and that's affected how they choose to parent in their own families. They care deeply about making their kids feel heard and understood.
Instead of saying because I said so, they're more likely to explain why a rule exists and actually take their opinions seriously. They want their children to be comfortable coming to them about the embarrassing and messy stuff without immediately anticipating a lecture.
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This generation is also more conscious of parts of parenting they don't want to repeat. They're more willing to apologize when they lose their temper and admit that motherhood can be overwhelming at times.
While they want their kids to stand on their own two feet, they don't always believe that independence should come from being left to figure things out alone. Their goal is to create a safe place to land while helping their children learn to fly.
Being a good mom involves raising a real person, according to Gen Z.
Kids don't like feeling like they need to be managed, and Gen Z moms know this. To them, good parenting means making sure their kids feel like actual people. They put a big emphasis on emotional intelligence, open communication, and letting children have a voice in what happens within the family.
They model the behaviors they want their children to follow, especially by showing them healthy relationships and setting boundaries.
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Gen Z is also coming into parenthood with a pretty strong awareness of not completely losing themselves. They still want to be involved in their kids' lives without making being a mom their entire identity.
They don't care about raising a perfectly behaved child; they care about raising one who can communicate, respect other people, and manage their emotions.
Kayla Asbach is a writer with a bachelor's degree from the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
