Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What A Mom's Role In The Family Is
Andy Barbour | Pexels As kids grow up, the parenting styles constantly change and alter how they were raised. Obvious things like strictness and parental warmth shift, but so do the expectations of a mom.
When it comes to household dynamics and responsibilities, Gen Zers, millennials, Gen Xers and boomers all have their own idea of what their mom's role looks like in the family.
What a mom's role in the family is, according to each generation
Boomer mothers were expected to run households without complaint
While boomer perceptions of motherhood and gender roles may be changing with age, early in their lives those traditional roles were quite common and important. When it was clear the home would crumble without a great mother at home, her role with her kids' childhoods and presence was nonnegotiable.
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With the core family values that center boomers' daily lives, it's not surprising that mothers put their focus on the household. They're responsible for the work and childcare, including the invisible labor we overlook, and often have little room to push back.
Similar to the ideal boomer father and man, challenging or complaining is looked down upon, even when it's clear this workload is unsustainable.
It's really no surprise that the children of boomers were left to their own devices for so much of childhood, as their mothers had a full plate even outside of childcare. They were expected to fill their own time, because their moms were busy.
Gen X mothers balanced invisible labor and encouraging self-sufficiency
Considering Gen X adults were coined "latchkey kids" early in life, and expected to be independent and take care of themselves from a young age, their parenting styles took a very different tone.
This generation perceives mothers as overly active parents, despite often working full-time jobs alongside their partners in this era.
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They were still expected to manage many of the household and emotional obligations of their boomer mothers, while also managing full careers and marriages at the same time.
On top of that, their parenting expectations were to be fully present with their kids, in an attempt to break the cycle of neglect that so many Gen X kids faced at home growing up.
A millennial mother combines gentle parenting and unlearning the past
Millennial mothers are expected to have similar obligations to Gen X, feeling obligated to handle the same responsibilities. A mom's role in the family is much more than just caregiving to them.
Instead of handling everything on their own, millennial moms expect more help from their families, despite feeling resentful of them. Their main goal is to break past traditions of women being the caretaker and the housekeeper, and set their own rules.
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Millennial moms are redefining a woman's role, turning gender norms on their head. They split household chores and childcare with their partner and rely on family to help out.
They're also intent on unlearning what they were taught from their boomer or older Gen X parents. Rather than leading with emotional distance or strictness, they bring a gentleness to their homes.
Gen Z moms don't make motherhood the core of their identity
Alongside unweaving some of the traditional expectations of parenthood, in general, many young people are offering mothers more freedom and grace.
Yes, there will always be some form of stifling societal norm or gender roles that shame women for putting themselves first, but this is one of the first generations to actively push back in their practical lives.
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Gen Z is an incredibly pragmatic generation, but they also value personal time and well-being. When it comes to motherhood, this parenting identity isn't the heart of who they are.
Their role in the family is to take care of their children, but also themselves. They focus on who they are outside of being a mom, while blending parenting styles from the generations that came before them.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
