I Didn’t Realize It At The Time, But These 4 Things My Dad Did Made Me Stronger Than I Knew
juliane Monari | Canva There's no denying the power and influence moms have on their daughters' upbringing and transformation into young women. My younger sister and I were raised in a two-parent household with an authoritative, strong mom to whom I attribute many of the lifelong lessons I've learned. Luckily for us, my dad was there alongside my mother to coach and mentor us during our most crucial teen and adult years.
While maternal figures are commonly associated with enforcing certain values in young girls, dads do it, too. I know because I've experienced this firsthand. Research has shown that the support received from dads is equally important in the upbringing of strong, independent women. My dad and I may not share the same gender, but many of the unexpected little things I've learned specifically from him have made me stronger than I ever realized.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but these 4 things my dad did made me stronger than I knew:
1. Modeling the drive to go after what you want
Although my father has the least aggressive personality in my household, it doesn't mean he doesn't enforce the importance of being aggressive when it comes to achieving my educational and career goals.
I am a first-generation college graduate, and my dad has opened his mind up to learning the American college system to coach me through the application process. He's scoped out internships and companies of interest and always assures me that I am completely capable of achieving my goals. My father has always been a supportive voice of reason for all of my career and educational decisions and remains so to this day.
"A resilient child wants to learn and doesn't worry if they don't understand something the first time," explained family coach Kathryn Brown Ramsperger. "They keep trying without beating themselves up over it. So, concentrate on congratulating your child for effort instead of outcome, or a great study session instead of a test score."
2. Teaching the importance of taking care of yourself
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Being the only male in a house full of women will also make you no stranger to women's health and feminine care, but these topics have never been too taboo to bring up around my dad. My dad has never tiptoed around talking to my sister and me about our physical or mental health.
Confidence coach Lisa Petsinis added, "In addition to learning to be in tune with what’s important to them, every woman should learn to be in tune with their physical body. When you have changes in your body, such as lumps, bumps, pains, discharges, unusual bowel or urinary habits, or odd smells, you need to learn to notice these, too, and seek medical attention promptly to stay healthy."
Feeling depressed? I can tell my dad. Stomach cramps got me down? I can talk to him. Being able to remain open with my father on things that would make most men uncomfortable has molded how I view my male counterparts' views and reactions to women's health.
3. Treating traditional gender roles as a thing of the past
At a glance, my dad is your "average macho man." I typically associate all handiwork with him. Although he is a great handyman, he has never been opposed to doing things or teaching my sister and me things that aren't typical for our gender.
My dad has styled my hair, gone for pedicures with my mom, cooked dinner after work, cleaned, and done laundry just like my mom. He has also held a job in a female-dominant company for more than 15 years, and he has formed respectable professional relationships with his female superiors — and has never questioned their intelligence or power.
There has also never been such a thing as a "woman's job" in my household. Except for when there's been a really tight jar of pasta sauce to uncap, he's a pro at that.
4. Being who you are at all times
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My mom and dad are quite the opposites: my father is more reserved, and my mom is more outspoken. A study supported the idea that watching my father interact with my mom and genuinely let her be herself for 20-plus years of marriage has set a great example for me. This has shown me that women do not need to be timid or silenced in their everyday lives.
In fact, my dad has embraced that he lives with three unique (and sometimes overwhelming) ladies, but he encourages us to fearlessly express ourselves because we are human and it is totally OK to be who we are.
Aimee Simeon is a seasoned digital-media expert with ten years of experience working for some of the web's largest publishers, including POPSUGAR, Refinery29, Byrdie, and currently Well+Good, where she serves as Senior Beauty Editor.
