Dad Asks If It's Wrong For Not Wanting To Tell His New Wife How Much Money His Late Wife Left Their Son
She thinks they need to split all of their savings evenly between their kids, but it was never her money to begin with.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock A dad took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong after refusing to disclose how much money his late wife left their son. His new wife thinks he should tell her so they can evenly split the savings between all of their children, but he’s standing by the fact that this money solely belongs to his son.
Life can get complicated with a blended family. It can be hard to navigate the new dynamic this creates. This family is struggling a little more because of their financial uncertainties, but as the dad stressed, that doesn't mean his late wife's wishes shouldn't be honored.
A dad asked if it was wrong to withhold how much money his late wife left their son.
He said that he and his wife, who are both in their 40s, share two kids. Meanwhile, he also has a 16-year-old son from his first marriage, and his wife has two kids, whom she shares custody with her ex-husband.
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“When my last wife was sick, she told me she wanted a [percentage] of the compensation she was issued for her medical misdiagnosis to go to our son’s savings,” he explained. “She also had a second savings account she wanted to add to it. This was on top of what the two of us had saved for him before her illness.”
Unfortunately, the dad and his current wife are experiencing some financial hardships. “Her ex has refused to discuss my step kids’ savings and if he pays anything or not,” he said. “She also feels like we haven’t been able to save enough every month like promised because it was just one thing after another.”
His wife’s solution was to combine all of their kids' savings and split it.
“A few weeks ago, my wife told me we should put all the cards on the table and discuss what all five kids have and proceed with making sure everyone gets what they need for the future,” he continued. “I told her I would happily discuss what I have saved for my oldest, but I would not be discussing the money left by his mom.”
His wife wasn’t satisfied with this and wanted the money her stepson’s mom left him to be a part of the money they considered for the whole family. She accused her husband of not trusting her and argued that it would benefit everyone.
“We argued about it but I refused to say,” he said. “She feels like that’s wrong when we’re married. I told her it’s not my money, nor is it her money or money that we can or should be accessing. It’s from my late wife to our son and that’s all there is to it.”
Redditors warned the dad that he needed to be very careful about the money that his late wife left to his son.
“If the amount is sizable (and it sounds like it is), that money should have been put in a trust for your kid,” one said. “If the money right now is just ‘ear marked’ for your son it could be considered as part of your assets in case of a divorce.” Others pointed out that without a trust, the money would go to his current wife if he were to pass away.
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NerdWallet writer Connor Emmert explained, “A trust, sometimes called a trust fund or trust account, is a legal arrangement to ensure a person’s assets go to specific beneficiaries.” Perhaps most importantly, he added, “You can specify the terms of the trust, which can help you protect assets after a divorce, for example, or control when kids receive their inheritance and how they spend it.”
It sounds like a trust would solve this problem from a practical standpoint, but it doesn’t address the fact that this man’s new wife thinks she should have access to and control over money that never belonged to her. That money was his first wife’s. His current wife has nothing to do with it.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
