11 Divorce-Proof Reasons To Get Thee To Premarital Counseling STAT

Photo: weheartit
11 Reasons You Need To Go To Counseling Before Marriage

Eighty percent of YourTango Experts agree that couples who attend premarital education/counseling are less likely to get divorce.

Here are 11 reasons why:

1. You'll gain foresight.


"Let's face it, when we're in love, we don't think about all the things we might face when we get married. It's much better to look at them before you get married than wait until the misunderstandings begin." — Dr. Jed Diamond

2. You'll benefit from wisdom.

"One of the advantages of arranged marriages was that someone older and wiser than the couple in love could think about who would really make good partners 5, 10, 20 or 40 years later.

You don't need to have your love life arranged for you, but you should take advantage of having the input of those who are knowledgeable about what you'll really face." — Dr. Jed Diamond

3. No marriage is immune.


"I'm a marriage counselor who has been helping people for more than 40 years. The fact that I know a lot didn't keep me from going through a divorce. If people like me need support and advice, everyone would benefit from premarital counseling." — Dr. Jed Diamond

4. It beats the alternative.

"Premarital counseling is better than post-marital misunderstandings and divorce." — Dr. Jed Diamond

5. Solve interfaith issues.


"Clarifying expectations for the marriage is a good beginning. Define the vision you each have and include your faith and your plan to worship together. Identify where the visions align and where they diverge. Examine ways to make the two visions merge into one." — Celeste Benskey

6. Get to know your in-laws.

"Remember, you're not only marrying your fiance(e), you're marrying his/her whole family. The healthy child in each of you allows you to fall in love. The wounded child in each of you is going to present challenges in the marriage. Past issues often come into play when you are parenting together." — Celeste Benskey

7. Finances past, present and future need to be reviewed.


"You each bring your financial history to the marriage. Budgets, savings and spending patterns are good things to have in place before the marriage. Ongoing financial discord can actually destroy a relationship." — Celeste Benskey

8. Communication is a cornerstone for a healthy relationship.

"Establish guidelines to handle conflicts. Understand the way you each receive and process information. Implementing the art of good listening will bring strength to the marriage." — Celeste Benskey

9. Reduce risk of divorce.


"A 2006 study by Markman, Stanley and Amato, noted couples who had pre-marital counseling were 31 percent less likely to get divorced. This takes the divorce rate from around 50 percent  to less than 20 percent.

Having worked with hundreds of pre-married couples in Perspectives & Reflections and Marriage in the Raw, we have seen this to be true. How good it is to realize that your marriage has an 80% chance of success?" — Daniel Faust

10. Increase marital satisfaction.

"Premarital counseling helps couples identify and communicate about their fears, desires, beliefs, values, dreams, needs and other issues and baggage that most avoid or deny.

Pre-marital counseling empowers couples to discuss marriage stressors before they cause harm to the relationship. This gives a marriage stability, cohesiveness and trust when the difficult times of 24/7 married life sets in." — Daniel Faust

11. Learn valuable communication & conflict resolution skills.


"Opposites attract then opposites attack. Often, we site finances and adultery as the primary reasons for divorce when actually, poor communication and a lack of conflict resolution skills cause these problems." — Daniel Faust

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!