Photo: DeMorris Byrd on Unsplash
Your sex goddess days are far from over.
By Michele Brookhaus — Written on Mar 19, 2020
I’ve run into a few women lately who have recovered from life-threatening illnesses and are now trying to put their sex lives back together, and are facing pain during sex.
For other women, sex has never been all that comfortable, and as they age it seems like no big deal to let it go.
Please don’t!
It may not seem like such a big deal, but there is real juiciness (pun intended) and side benefits to stimulation of that place that resides in your second chakra (know where I mean? Wink, wink).
I understand that it can be a real downer, and leave you wondering if it’s really worth it to try and get back your sex drive and your naturally-comfortable vagina, when at one time sex was so easy. Back then it was just "get turned on and ready to go!"
But what if that’s not the case any longer?
What if the desire is gone? Maybe you feel some negativity about the experience because it’s not as easy as it once was.
Maybe there is even a lot more vaginal dryness and pain, or unpredictability about the whole experience. Maybe climaxing is elusive.
What’s a woman to do then? Is her sex life over? Well, it doesn't necessarily have to be.
Try these 6 steps if having sex is painful for you, to try to heal and recover from vaginal dryness after a serious illness:
1.Talk to your doctor
Talk with your healthcare professional before, during and after any medical treatment or medications that may be prescribed about the impact that they may have on your sexuality.
Both your feelings and how your body functions from treatment may be impacted, and it’s a good idea to be well informed about all of the ramifications of any treatment. It allows you to be proactive and get the support you need both physically and emotionally.
2. Talk to your partner and supportive friends about what’s going on
Heck, get a good therapist!
There is nothing worse than being isolated in your suffering.
Do not underestimate the power of both expressing yourself and being heard.
3. Love, love, love that vagina
Sometimes I feel like a broken record.
Appreciation is real, and it really does change things.
Appreciate your partner, appreciate your body appreciate your Yoni.
Ahhhh ...
4. Juice up your body internally
That means taking your vitamins. Take your Omega 3’s. Take your Omega 7’s (found in Sea Buckthorn oil).
It’s been shown to help with vaginal atrophy.
Cool, right?!
5. Lube up externally
There’s no excuse these days. There are plenty of really good water based lubricants out there.
Please no oils, no sugar, no flavors. Those days of your vagina being able to handle anything are gone.
So be nice to it!
6. Do your kegels
And also practicing relaxing down there.
Part of the issue might be spasms.
Relaxation techniques could help the vaginal walls as well as your whole body.
And as you find a way to relax in your whole body, inviting a connection with self and another may feel much more appealing.
Pain and vaginal dryness are real and many women suffer from it.
That doesn’t mean that sexy part of your life is over.
It may require a bit more attention, a bit more care and love to ease back in.
It may require some creativity and perhaps that’s the silver lining in the cloud, yet another way to appreciate your body and your sexuality.
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Michele Brookhaus RSHom(NA), CCH is the playful creator of Yoni's Bliss, a homeopathic lubricating gel. She believes ALL women are entitled, worthy and capable of healthy happy vaginas.