5 Benefits Of Being Best Friends Before Dating
Did your relationship start out as friendship?
unsplash Couples who have a strong friendship before dating have some of the best and strongest relationships.
There are lots of benefits to dating your best friend. And if you don’t believe me, take Hollywood for example.
Although they don't always give the best dating advice, the friends to lovers trope is a Hollywood Romantic plot staple.
Girl and guy meet and form a deep friendship. Time passes and it becomes obvious they are perfect for each other. Sadly, he’s blind to this fact, and the relationship is strictly platonic.
Meanwhile, the leading lady pines away for her pal, until one day, he opens his eyes and realizes the woman of his dreams has been standing right in front of him the whole time. It’s been her, all along — his best friend. Both are now ready to love each other as more than friends.
Case in point, there's Monica and Chandler (or Ross and Rachel, where the guy is doing the pining!) on "Friends", or these big-screen examples:
- "When Harry Met Sally"
- "You’ve Got Mail"
- "Some Kind Of Wonderful"
- "The Holiday"
- "Just Friends"
- "The Duff"
- "13 Going on 30"
- "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton"
- "Friends With Benefits"
- "Reality Bites"
Have I made my point yet or should I keep going?
There is a science behind love and friendship.
Being stuck in "the friend zone" is frustrating, but once you get past that hurdle, taking that leap of faith can be just as daunting.
You might be scared at first — change is always scary. You may fear your friendship will be ruined if you ever break up, but isn’t it worth the risk? Is he interested in you in that way?
Taking that leap of faith might just be the best decision you ever make. According to recent studies, in order for a relationship to be successful, there must be a balance between liking someone and desiring them, between friendship and passion.
In a relationship that formed out of friendship, there is support, trust, comfort, understanding, open communication, and respect.
This is what makes for a solid foundation in a relationship. And that foundation is already firmly in place before love, emotions, and sex get in the mix. You genuinely like each other, so the attraction is more than just physical.
And if those physical desires were slow to surface, it’s because attraction can grow as you get to know (and like) someone.
Did you ever meet a hottie who goes from a 10 to 0 the more he talks? Or a guy who outwardly wouldn’t be your type on the first impression, but becomes increasingly more attractive the more time you spend with him?
Here are the top 5 benefits of being friends first and lovers second.
1. He's aware of your past relationships
He knows all about your exes and will never make the same mistakes they did, like forgetting your birthday or eating all the fries off your plate.
Likewise, you know all about his exes and what he disliked about them. Like texting him a thousand times a day or biting his lip when you make out.
2. He knows you
Dating your best friend means that you know each other’s quirks, issues, hang-ups, and baggage, and you are okay with all of it. No weirdness or unpleasant surprises here.
So, he will always remember put the toilet seat down because it drives you nuts, or call you when he is running late so you don’t worry that he is dead on the side of the road somewhere.
And you will never mention his jerk of a cousin who stole his baseball cards when he was 10 years old.
3. You know how to make each other laugh
All those corny inside jokes that make you both crack up, while everyone else in the room looks at you like you are nuts.
Yeah, you have that.
4. He has an idea of what you like
Even though it’s just your first date, he knows enough not to take you out for sushi or go see "Scream 300" because you have a seafood allergy and a legit fear of scary movies.
You may even actually feel excited about going on a first date for once because you have been building up to this moment for a long time.
And while you both feel ultra-comfortable and chill because you know each other really well, there is still so much to learn as your relationship changes and grows at a new level.
5. He's your best friend
Who wouldn’t want to marry their best friend? It’s the best of both worlds.
Again, have I made my point yet or should I keep going? So, if you're looking for love, look at the person who's always been there for you and take a leap of faith.
Gregg Michaelsen, Boston’s top dating coach, and best-selling author, tells us To Date a Man, You Must Understand a Man. And if that man happens to be your friend before he’s your boyfriend (or future husband), you already have that strong foundation to build a lasting relationship upon.