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How to enjoy life as you are right now.
By Wendy Newman
Last updated on Mar 16, 2024
Happy single people are just like happy coupled people. Yep, you read that right! Why? Because we know one of the greatest — and simplest — secrets in life. Every day, we get to hang out with the most amazing person we know ... ourselves! And this doesn’t change when we find our perfect someone, because that person should never "complete" us; they should complement us. "Loving yourself" isn’t just a lip service concept — it’s a real way of life, whether your life is partnered or not. Entrusting the sacred task of caring for you to anyone else can feel like a delicious perk, but it’s far from a necessity. And what better time to start putting yourself first than while you’re flying solo? Happy-making habits will get you a long way towards not only being "content" as a single person but towards truly loving your single self too.
Here are 10 tiny, life-changing habits of truly happy people:
1. They revel in their autonomy
We do what we want to do, the way we want to do it, and on our timeline. Why? Because we can! We appreciate not having to negotiate conflicting schedules, deal with remembering to update anyone on our whereabouts, or make concessions for differing preferences.
2. They don't wait around
We ask ourselves, "What do I want to do?", and then we do it (Or we don’t — it’s up to us.) We don’t wait to get paired up to have whatever kind of fun we feel like having. If we want to go out, we go solo or wrangle a friend. We know that all activities are ours just as much as they belong to the coupled crowd. Like what, you ask? My answer is anything — go off to a romantic island with a pal, travel abroad on your own, or explore neighborhoods in your city. Go to plays, museums, and films, eat in five-star restaurants, host Taco Tuesday for the gang, or just snuggle up in bed with a good book or film. You can do it whether it's unaccompanied or with someone else — be that someone else of the furry-friend variety or the friends-with-benefits sort, it's your choice!
3. They make sure to get what they need
Learning what’s needed to be in top mental, emotional, and physical shape is an individual journey. Anytime you notice you’re cranky, upset, irked, or just all-around off-balance, there’s something you need that you’re not getting. Happy single people pay attention to having enough sleep, physical movement, companion time, alone time, and fun time — and when the cranky pants alarm bells start going off, we take action!
4. They do things that make them genuinely happy
We get a massage, buy ourselves flowers, grab a cupcake after lunch, or soak in a bubble bath. We indulge in life’s little luxuries.
5. They tend to their serenity
Whether it’s a lunch-break walk at an urban park, a three-minute quickie meditation practice, or a hike with the dog, quiet time (and especially time outdoors if you can swing it) feeds us a healthy dose of calm between the many storms of everyday life on our own.
6. They nurture love in all of their relationships
We spend focused love time with our dog, our cat, our pot-bellied pig, a close friend, or a family member (just maybe not the annoying family members). We volunteer at a local animal sanctuary or at another organization where we care about making a difference. Love comes in many forms, and it’s there for the giving and the taking almost everywhere you look.
7. They spend time with lots of people
We make random acts of kindness happen. We look forward to the friends we haven’t met yet and invite new people to connect with us, to flirt with us, to lean in closer. We make room for strangers just to make our day a little bit brighter and hopefully add to the joy of their days, too.
8. They keep a morning gratitude list
It takes very little time, so why not? We write down three things we’re grateful for to remind us what’s good, what’s worth it, and what makes the human experience something to be thankful for every morning. Sometimes, I write mine in steam on the bathroom mirror.
9. They use the buddy system
We cultivate deep friendships with other happy single people (think of it as your single crew’s very own social network) where we enjoy each other’s company, see each other’s pain, comfort each other when things are rough, cheer on each other’s victories, and most importantly, witness each other’s lives.
10. They build and tend to a life they love
We decide what flavor of life we want and we get right to work on mixing up a batch of it. We don't ask ourselves, "How much more of this can I stand?" but "How great can I stand it?" and we take it from there. We make plans for the future, we build businesses, we write books, we make friends, we travel, we create art, and we get involved in what matters to us. We love ourselves. In short, truly happy single people make our lives COUNT!
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Wendy Newman is a media-celebrated author and dating and relationship expert who's led hundreds of workshops and changed the lives of over 70,000 women internationally.