How To Survive Mother's Day If You Feel Post-Abortion Grief

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How To Survive Mother's Day If You Feel Post-Abortion Grief
Self, Heartbreak

Mother's Day is a sad reminder.

Mother's Day for women who have had a voluntary pregnancy termination or abortion can be just as unhappy as Valentine's Day for people in bad relationships. On a day that motherhood is embraced and celebrated, many women experience sadness over their choice and are reminded of "what might have been." And there's no escaping Mother's Day, as it's everywhere, from TV to the aisles of Walmart.

There is no safe place to share that this day is one of pain and loss for women who have made this choice. While there may be an overall feeling of relief, in the recesses of so many women's hearts, there's an intense sadness that penetrates the happy reality of the day.

RELATED: What It's Like To Have A Late-Term Abortion (From A Mom Who Doesn't Regret Her Abortion At All)

Women who have elected to terminate a pregnancy often don't understand how to deal with grief from abortion. They also don't feel that they have the permission to grieve over a loss that they themselves (for whatever reason) have chosen.

But here are some things to do on Mother's Day if you are experiencing sadness, depression, or anger about it.

1. Know you are not alone. 

First of all, please know that many women are struggling with this. There is a misunderstanding in our culture about how many women have experienced voluntary pregnancy termination.

Every day, millions of women sit in silence with the grief they're feeling over their decision. They don't need their decision validated, but they do need their grief acknowledged.

RELATED: The Traumatic Reality Of Who Is Really Hurt By Late-Term Abortion Laws

2. Take pause. 

Give yourself permission to feel the sadness. Let yourself "go to the pain," knowing that if you don't grieve your loss, you have to live with sorrow. Talk to a person you feel safe with. Buy yourself a flower or some other sort of memorial-type item, and let yourself be sad today.

3. Realize this issue might need further exploration.

If Mother's Day is a trigger for you, know that the grief inside needs processing. It is not going away, so you need to explore what's underneath. 

You can take this self-evalutation to see how it might be affecting you today. Go to a therapist, where discussions like this can be completely confidential. Let them walk this journey to resolution with you. 

RELATED: My First Abortion Was Just As Horrific As You Thought It'd Be

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Trudy Johnson is a certified trauma specialist who works with many women through brief intensive therapy. Visit her website, Missing Pieces, for more information.