Heartbreak, Sex

Why Cheating Is Bad For Your Health

Photo: weheartit
Why Extramarital Sex is Bad for your Health

For one, most of us non-sociopaths would feel guilt, and guilt wears down the immune system as well as other biological systems in the body. I have had clients who have cheated which led to such a preoccupation with guilt that they lost jobs, businesses, and friends.  

People who feel guilty tend to unconsciously punish themselves by sabotaging the things in their life that are important to them.

I had one client who felt so guilty that to creatively cope with his guilt, he projected his feelings of guilt onto his wife and became paranoid about her being unfaithful. (The mind can work in very mysterious ways to cope with painful feelings). His wife left him because she was tired of being seen as a person who would be unfaithful when she had always been a faithful, honest wife.  

His accusations basically ended the marriage. When he saw me after his wife filed for divorce, he began to realize how his feelings of guilt were behind these accusations and the eventual demise of his marriage.

Hiding things puts us in a constant state of stress. The fear of getting caught is actually an intense fear — the same fear we may have had as a kid when we knew we would be severely disciplined if we got caught. This creates a high state of cortisol that leads to a myriad of possible health problems.  

RELATED: How & Why Cheating Cheats The Cheater

When a person feels trapped, the cortisol remains high and that can affect any or every organ system in one’s body. Cheating and extramarital affairs do lead to a person feeling trapped — trapped in their own lie.  

"If I keep it to myself, I have no integrity; if I tell my partner, they will leave me."

This kind of double bind can play havoc with our body. When there is a way out of stress, the body repairs. However, when a person feels stuck long term in a no-win situation, it can lead to serious physical consequences.

Once you get caught (and you will if you continue the behavior), the humiliation, guilt, pain, and anxiety do more damage.

This leads to not only a downward spiral in health for the person who committed the infidelity but for every member of the family including young children, depending on whether the children are consciously aware of the discovery or not.

RELATED: The Harsh Reality Of Cheating On The Person You Love

All family members pick up on the negative energy and it can affect everyone’s mental and physical health. This can lead to even more guilt on the person who cheated which leads us to where I began above.

The sooner this behavior is stopped, the better. If you or anyone you know is doing this behavior, confront that person (or yourself) and know that there is help on the way that could get that person out of the constant state of stress.

It’s a no-win situation. I know someone who has a lot of experience in these types of matters.  

Yes, of course, that would be me. Believe it or not, I have about a 90 percent success rate in helping couples thrive after infidelity is discovered.

So, be a friend and confront that person and invite that person to get out of that quagmire called infidelity.

RELATED: 4 Honest Men Confess The REAL Reason They Cheated On Their Wives

Todd Creager is an expert in relationships. For over 30 years, he has worked as a relationship therapist, specializing in marriage, sex and couples counseling.

Sign up for YourTango's free newsletter!

This article was originally published at Todd Creager's website. Reprinted with permission from the author.